Meanwhile, Cyndi and Maria are en route to the props. Cyndi indirectly shit talks Selita, but Maria doesn't take the bait. Maria VOs that Cyndi definitely should have been on the creative team. Cyndi notes snippily to Maria that she is a credited art director. They arrive at the prop house, and Cyndi immediately starts haggling. She ultimately snags at least $100 off. She credits some sort of weird face she makes, which looks more like "I just ate a bunch of prunes" than "Please cut me a deal." I say po-tay-to, you say po-tah-to...
RockSolid. Michael tells Darryl to get props and take Rod with him. Michael moans that it took Blago 30 minutes to type out a 50-word paragraph -- that wasn't even his assignment. He says his nine-year-old would have done a better job. Darryl and Blago make it downstairs, but there's a bit of a detour when Darryl needs a smoke break before he can even get in the van. Darryl admits he's not used to the 9-5 lifestyle. They finally get in the van and head toward the prop house, but now Blago causes the detours by glad-handing with every random passerby he meets. Interestingly, now Darryl starts harping on the schedule. The one he didn't care about earlier when he was getting his nicotine fix.
Tenacity. Don Jr. stops by when they're in mid-photo shoot. He immediately spots that Summer is fumbling to articulate the team's concept. Seriously, it's painful. Sharon VOs that a lot of time was wasted because no one person knew what they were going after. Nonetheless, the clock keeps ticking. As the pressure builds, the ladies go back to basics and decide Sharon will play the role of "The Protector." She'll be in the background of every shot to embody the power of the product. Sharon thinks she'll be a good visual representation of the product because "you can't sell [security] with tits and ass." I should make that my catchphrase.
RockSolid. The ladies peep in on Curtis getting ready to shoot the advertorial and make fun of him for always being in an apron. Curtis explains that he's a good brand ambassador because he does the same things normal people do every day (cook, shop, eat, etc.). Unlike Michael, for example, who puts on some seriously snug spandex for his shots, or Goldberg, who is fucking mammoth. I mean, I'm a muscle maniac outfitted in spandex on a daily basis, but I'm not your average recapper. Darryl, meanwhile, makes himself useful by ordering pizzas because he's admittedly too lazy to participate in the creative process. Goldberg poses for his shots, receiving warnings from the photographer that his strong face reads more like "fart," then seals the deal by smooching up on Michael and getting his "Goldberg goo" all over him. I think he meant sweat. At least I hope he did.