Episode Report Card
DeAnn Welker: B- | Grade It Now!
It's About Damn Time

Joan flies in at 4:40 in the morning. She tells us that she performed in Dallas until 11 PM and now she's in New York. She says she's very cranky and bitchy. That will sure make for a fun presentation. Now they're practicing as a group. Joan's practicing with her cue cards. Claudia's happy to see her here, because Joan's her ace in the hole. Joan's practicing, but yelling, "Not yet!" and then getting feedback. She's not liking it. Annie explains it took 45 minutes to practice it once. Melissa's trying to cue the actor, who's ignoring her. Annie says the rehearsal was a nightmare, and Claudia wouldn't take control. But Claudia says these are technical problems, which aren't her fault. Khloe says it's a disaster, and confusing. She thinks their eyes are bigger than their stomachs. Isn't that about taking too big of a portion of food?

Claudia interviews that Khloe's frustrating because she has to be micro-managed. Melissa's producing the hell out of Joan, as Claudia walks around doing nothing. Brande interviews that they were skeptical and worried until Melissa jumped in and told everyone what to do, and it got exciting. It looks loud, obnoxious and not good, frankly, but I guess I can't tell. Claudia says it looked good from the front. Then she acknowledges that Melissa was good as a director, because she's good at being bossy. She says creatively, she's not great, but telling people what to do is all her. Wow. I think I hate Claudia.

Athena presentation. Gladiator music. Trump walks in. Then he interviews about how to speak to people: He doesn't think about it, because all it will do is make you a nervous wreck. He says Claudia and Brian will be great, because they're performers and won't even be thinking about it. We see the women rustling around backstage, disproving him. Trump gets on stage and explains the rules that we got at the beginning of the episode, except he adds that he'll fire the ass off someone on the losing team.

Melissa directs. Tionne MC's, introducing Joan Rivers. She walks out amid a lot of crazy fanfare. She is pretty good at this, I have to admit. She has a lot of enthusiasm. Though she does say the word "terrific" a lot, and she keeps saying these are "real people," and she calls them vignettes. They have an actor on stage watching their non-crying baby taking steps as fake dad watches on video. Joan makes a joke about him finding out it's not really his kid. Totally the emotional appeal, right? Joan says that this video phone has saved her from having to go to the gynecologist, and the crowd loves it. She then says she's happy to let people see her face when she talks, because she's spent $150,000 on it. Then she says that even if you haven't spent money on your face, people want to see it, so watch this. Jesse's in the audience, and he interviews that he loves Joan, "she's rad," but that presentation didn't get people's attention. They did do a cute scene where an actor proposes to Brande. The audience gave them a standing ovation, and Claudia says that reaction was all she needed to know they nailed this thing. Joan gives her closing bit and even Trump stands up and claps. The ladies are so happy; they know they won, since the guys can't pull anything out of their ass to beat Joan. Claudia's already annoyed, saying Melissa will take credit, but doesn't deserve it.

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