Apprentice

Episode Report Card
DeAnn Welker: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Not A Dream Team

Trump decides the teams will shoot baskets and whoever wins this pickup game or whatever it is gets $10,000. Trump shoots and scores (or so they make it look like it). Selita shoots and misses, so does Goldberg, then Summer, then Bret, then Curtis, and Holly, and Michael. Maria, in six-inch stilettos, shoots and scores. Curtis is all, "Fuck the girls. I'm so sick of them." He's really tired of losing to them, especially at sports. Holly's charity, HollyRod Foundation, gets the $10,000. Holly hugs and thanks Maria. Then they get in the van and start planning. Holly's idea is to focus on the first moments of funk for a tween boy, and then have their NBA player appear and be like, "I'm your funky godfather." Everyone loves it, and with just these four ladies, it's a really good vibe. No tension or anything, like there is with those troublesome women Sharon and Cyndi. The men are meeting with the executives, asking them a bunch of boring questions. Basically, they don't have a great idea, so they just ask all sorts of stuff and find out exactly what they've already been told. Then the women interview the executives, and they ask how much they should target the moms making the purchases, and the executives said not at all.

RockSolid. Curtis tells them they have to keep focused today, and then explains that without Cyndi and Sharon, they're on an even playing field and can win this. Bret has some ideas that he wants to act out with Curtis. He even makes Goldberg "Be the doorbell." (Pause) Goldberg: "Ding-dong." Which I am interpreting as him calling Bret that, not actually being the doorbell. Basically, Bret shouts out a bunch of ideas, and then something clicks and Curtis likes it. It involves a basketball and a person doing pushups, which is about all I can understand from Bret. Curtis says that he spits out something brilliant at the end of his jabbering, though, so you learn to be patient. I'll have to take Curtis's word, I guess, because I heard nothing coherent, let alone brilliant.

Tenacity is talking about "mom jeans" being a funny visual when Scottie Pippen walks in. They're happy to have him, and they tell him he has the best team. When they tell him about their "first moments of funk" and "funky godfather" idea, he laughs, which they take as a good sign. Clyde the Glide shows up, and Bret gets a good vibe, Michael's happy to see him (because they were on the same Olympic team!), and Curtis whispers to Michael, "Which team did he play on?" Michael tells him Houston, and they both laugh, and Curtis says he's a foreigner, which is a good excuse. But I'm annoyed Michael said "Houston," when Clyde was much more famous for Portland. But maybe people in Houston think he was more famous for playing there. I know that he won an NBA championship finally in Houston, and he went to college there, but still... PORTLAND. Not that I care or anything. Curtis explains that it's embarrassing for him to be from Australia, because he wasn't even in this country when Clyde was a big deal. Michael forgives him.

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Apprentice

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