Apprentice

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"It Was Like Watching A Horse Die"

Previously: Sixteen jackasses lost their jobs and no one cared. Except Trump, so he's going to hire one of them. Last week, David sucked. So did Wade. But the women sucked even more, so Tyana was eliminated. Which means we have at least one more week of Mahsa and David. Kill me now. Up in the suite, the men think Mahsa deserves to go, so they're happy to see Liza walk in. They're less happy to see Mahsa. Even her girlfriends seem annoyed at her, and say she's lacking "a certain polish." That's just a high-society way of saying she's a bitch. Wade tells his gang he's going to be the leader this week, for sure. Steuart says Wade's been nothing but a follower... Um, did I miss the episode in which Steuart was project manager? No? Okay, then. "Money, money, money, money..."

After winning last week, Clint gets his chance to hang out with Steve Forbes. It's all platitudes and two-way praise. Eh, boring. I watch this show for the evil backbiting, not these niceties. So let's make this quick: Success. Business. Advice. Future. Millions. Credit. Income. Big. Blah. Then the candidates are all lined up in a shoe store when Trump comes in with Michael Rupp, CEO and president of Rockport. He explains the challenge is to present a fashion show to their key buyers, including Zappos. The men will present the women's line and the women will present the men's line. Trump's advisers this week are Catherine Roman and Juan Betancourt, executive search consultants (aka headhunters). The candidates just about pee their pants, since looking good to headhunters is almost as good as looking good to Trump. Stephanie and Wade are project managers.

Stephanie tells her team things are going to be different for this task, because they're not going to pick on each other's weaknesses. She puts Kelly in charge of creative, assisted by Poppy and Liza; Mahsa's going to be the time manager; Brandy's going to be emcee because she's beautiful and polished. Kelly tries to get going on the creative, but Stephanie immediately talks over her and comes up with her own idea, "A Day in the Life of Tristan," which has something to do with how much Mahsa loved Legends of the Fall. Stephanie wants to be edgy, so Kelly suggests having the guys come out in boxers and shoes for the finale. She immediately thinks it's too much and regrets it, but everyone else is already excited about the idea.

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Apprentice

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