Episode Report Card
DeAnn Welker: A- | Grade It Now!
"It Was Like Watching A Horse Die"

Back at Fortitude, Brandy saves the day by buying eight pairs of black underwear. Then they rehearse for the fashion show, with Kelly instructing the models. Even Mahsa has something nice to say about her (for now). Liza notices a model in shorts has scabs on his legs, which she thinks is going to be a real problem. And just think: He'll also be wearing boxers later. Back at Octane, Gene's in slow-motion Gene mode. David wants to run through their speech, but Gene has nine more shoes to write about. David says he can't baby-sit Gene. When it's time to practice, David and Gene have no idea what they're doing. Catherine's watching it all, in horror. Gene left (probably to finish preparing the speech), but David says he just ran away. Clint thinks Wade better be worried, because this is going to be a disaster. What fun would it be for us if it weren't?

Fashion show. Everyone's seated when Trump shows up in a limo and walks the red carpet. Fortitude goes first. Brandy's well prepared and poised, but pretty boring. She talks all about Tristan's "Day in the Life," one outfit and pair of shoes at a time. Let me tell you: Tristan wears a lot of shoes in one day. Maybe they should have made it "A Weekend in the Life" or something. Backstage, the ladies are stripping the men down to their underwear and greasing them up. Kelly's worrying that this finale could undermine everything they've just done. The crowd reaction to the finale seems mixed, but Trump and Michael Rupp don't look happy.

Octane's turn. Wade tells his team not to worry or stress about this, just to go have fun. David's opening is actually decent, then he passes it to Gene, who reads poorly from his computer. He mispronounces difficult words such as "leather," "color," "breathable," "sling-back," and about a dozen more. Then he mixes up the names of a shoe and a model. The next model comes out, and he actually whispers, "Who's this?" David realizes it's going bad, so exits the stage (which can't look good on him in the boardroom, can it? It seems like he should have taken over the dramatic reading). Backstage, the men stress out. Wade shakes his head and actually says, "Unless the women sent naked men out on stage or did something completely stupid, we've absolutely blown this task." Heh. Well, I think they've blown it even though the women sent naked men out on stage. In fact, the women would have had to enact the Spanish tickler on stage to lose this one.

Boardroom. Trump comes in. Dare I hope that he fires everyone? I mean, really ... hasn't he figured out this far in that none of these people should work for him? They all suck. Trump asks Stephanie why Brandy was her emcee, and Stephanie says she represents the definition of Rockport: savvy, sexy, attractive, contemporary. Stephanie thinks Brandy did a fabulous job, and Kelly agrees. Trump asks her if she's emceed before. She has not. Trump thinks she was fantastic. Of course. This is Trump, and she's a woman.

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