Apprentice

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DeAnn Welker: C | Grade It Now!
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Karma's a Bitch

Trump comes into an office, where the executives are sitting. They watch the videos together. And, by the way, captions were added to the KOTU video, so it looks like Clint did listen to them after all. After the video, the All executives agree that the video's a little racy for their constituents. They watch the Jesse video, and don't even crack a smile. Then when the actors swear at the end, the executives actually look angry. Okay, they have absolutely no sense of humor. So they'll find out what Perez Hilton thought. He who draws genitalia on photos of celebrities gets to judge their family-friendly viral? Um, okay then. Idiots. I swear to you that if I already didn't use All, I never would after this. I hope they didn't pay money to be in this show, because these executives make them look humorless and frigid.

Perez has some sort of jingly ringtone. He's sitting in a room with a picture of himself and a dog on the wall behind him. He tells Trump that he just saw the videos, and he has a lot of opinions. He was very disappointed in the KOTU one. He feels they were shortsighted. He thinks they were going for humor, but it wasn't funny. Perez thought Jesse's video was excellent, and started laughing immediately. He wouldn't have watched the KOTU video all the way through if he didn't have to. The executives ask what demographic Athena's video will appeal to. He says he is a gay man, so he found it appealing. Trump had no idea Perez was gay. I can't tell if he's serious, but I think he is. Perez also thinks it will appeal to straight men. The executive says Perez left out women with children, which is where there's a disconnect, since that's their target. Perez doesn't think either video appeals to women with children. They thank him and hang up. [Waitwaitwait -- this is how All does their market research? They ask a gay man if a woman with kids would like a video? Why not make a woman witha kid your frickin' judge? Morons! - Z]

The executives thought the brand message of Athena's video was great. They didn't like "midgets" in the title. And the little people cursing at the end was a poor choice, and not using the actors in the right way. They liked KOTU's video's relaxing music and thought bubbles. They don't know if All wants to be the brand for cheating men. They aren't about a closed-door activity. Um, oh my god. Masturbating is now cheating? I seriously hate these people so much. They say the cheating factor will alienate their consumers, who are used to an open laundry room door. Gah. Gross. HATE. Trump asks who the winner is, but of course they leave us hanging.

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Apprentice

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