Apprentice

Episode Report Card
DeAnn Welker: C | Grade It Now!
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Rivers = Crazy

Previously: This show was pretty ridiculous, but at least the Rivers women kept it entertaining. And Piers was annoying, even when it's not his season. Natalie and Herschel were both eliminated, as KOTU lost again and again. And Angel mercifully filled in for me.

Everyone watching the boardroom is sad that Herschel's gone, and wonders how Clint keeps making it. Then Clint doesn't hug the guy who tried to throw him under the bus. What a big jerk, as Jesse tells us, calling it Clint's "self-preservation instinct." Clint and Joan think the teams will be reshuffled and they'll get a new team member. "Money, money, money." Trump jet. Shiny things. The interesting thing about the opening credits is that everyone is with some indication of why they're famous, except Khloe, because there is no reason. Jesse gives his money to Long Beach Education Foundation, which gives industrial arts programs to inner-city kids. Jesse shows up and gives them $20,000, which they appreciate. Jesse says he went to this school, and it's important to him because he's always used his hands for hard work.

Our few remaining celebrities line up in the NBA store, and wait for Trump and his entourage. Trump immediately sends Jesse to KOTU, leaving Melissa with the mean girls. Jesse tells Trump that he loves Joan but Clint's not a team player. Trump tells the gang he hates people who smell, and that's why the task is for Right Guard deodorant. Joan's face looks freshly plastic surgeried, by the way. It's distracting. Anyway, Right Guard suits say the task is to create a new Right Guard print ad, which should include David Lee. Trump has Ivanka and freaking Jim Cramer as his eyes and ears. Trump tells us how much he respects Jim Cramer, as if he needed to prove that he's not nearly as smart as Jon Stewart. Project managers: Brande and Clint. Brande taunts Clint, because she's been in photo shoots. Trump says the winner gets $20,000, and the loser might get fired.

Athena finds jerseys with their names on them from Right Guard. Melissa's idea for the ad is to have the three of them in the ad, but Annie and Brande sort of ignore her. She tells us she's living in a weird Cone of Silence. I sort of can't believe how snarky Melissa is. I guess she was raised by Joan, so it does make sense, but I like her more than I expected to. And it makes me hate myself. Anyway, she keeps offering ideas, and Annie and Brande keep ignoring her. Annie tells us if Melissa keeps coming up with bad ideas, she's going to be shut out. Annie's idea is to have David Lee naked holding a ball (not that kind! A basketball). It will say that Right Guard is all he needs to wear. They ask the execs about it, and they like it as long as it's integrated back to the product. It's not too risqué. Melissa tries to talk and Annie keeps interrupting her and not letting her talk to the execs. They are enemies. Did you know that?

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Apprentice

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