Apprentice
Ethics, Schmethics

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Lonely Planet Hollywood

Previously on Wham, Bam, Get Lost, Sam: The men appointed Sam as their fearless leader for a bargain-shopping task, hoping to be rewarded with either a victory or an overdue ouster. When Sam and Nick got pushy about chasing the impossible dream of saving a few simoleons on a bar of gold -- perhaps the item with the least negotiable price in all of Manhattan -- it firmed up the fact that the former would not be forthcoming. The women, meanwhile, made a few strides toward harmony, although much of their success in that area involved simply putting a little extra distance between the discordant notes, if you know what I mean. When the numbers came back from the Supreme Calculators of Destiny, Protégé had delivered another utterly incomprehensible kicking of the men's collective corporate ass. Faced with his own failure, an unhappy but somehow still confident Sam brought Bowie and Kwame to the Boardroom with him. Much to everyone's surprise (especially those who have seen the Trumpartment), Donald Trump proved that there are limits to even his nuttiness, and he canned Sam at last. Sam reacted in just the logical, reasonable way you'd expect from someone who is speeding down the psychological highway about two exits away from Crazyville, and they very nearly had to drag him out of his chair so that he would not attempt to cut off locks of The Hair. Or...you know, unwind or untie or melt them or however you would come away with portions of The Hair. Ultimately, Sam got in the cab like a good boy and took the one-way ride to obscurity. Thank God. I don't think he's a bad person, but...my head was really beginning to pound. "Who will be fired this week?" asks Donald.

Credits. As this sentence is being written, the air temperature is a balmy twenty-two degrees below zero here at Miss Alli's house. That has nothing to do with the credits, I'm just sharing.

We swing into S4 during the weekly thumb-twiddling that takes place while the gang anxiously awaits the return of those who escaped the axe. Nick, Bill, Troy, and the Protégé Princesses are waiting around to see who will walk through the door. Amy interviews that everyone was "absolutely dying to see" what happened with the last three guys. She also says, however, that everyone would have been "in complete shock" had Sam returned once again. Well, apparently not Heidi, who knowingly informed us last week that Sam would not be fired. The door to the suite opens, and it's...Bowie...and Kwame! Screaming erupts, along with considerable jumping up and down, and Ereka actually runs over and jumps on Bowie, wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. Okay, that was a little funny. Great joy and celebration follows. In an interview, Bowie refers to Sam as "a cancer" on the suite, which is probably just a little bit of an unnecessary scenery-chew, and then he chuckles that Protégé apparently hated Sam more than the guys were aware of. Well, sure. Sam wasn't cute. The women only like cute. They believe in cute. It is their raison d'être.

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Apprentice

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