Apprentice
Ethics, Schmethics

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | 1 USERS: A+
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Lonely Planet Hollywood

Trump says that again -- again -- the women have kicked the men's asses, and that the men are going to the Boardroom. He asks Carolyn what the women did right, and Carolyn points out that they focused more on the bar, which has a huge profit margin, and that was a good idea. She thinks the guys spent way too much time on the sidewalk trying to move coupons. At any rate, the women are on their way to what Trump claims many people consider the best golf course in the state of New York -- his. (Of course.) My God, Heidi's blue eye shadow is scary. The things the pretty girls are wearing these days, I swear.

The men are left to shake their heads and await the Boardroom.

Back from commercials, Nick is getting undressed in the bedroom while Kwame tells the rest of the boys that he's got no team-leader speeches for them, but that he thinks "everybody knows what they did and how much weight they pulled." You can pretty much read between the lines for yourself, at least enough to know that Kwame just told them that everybody knows Nick did jack to help with that task. In case you don't get it, your helpful editors show Nick, detached from the group, putting his clothes away. Bowie interviews that the men are in "shock." He says it's like when your dog gets run over. "That's how I feel right now. I feel like a pet was just killed," he says matter-of-factly. There's something about that that really made me laugh, even though it's kind of sick. Normally, a pet being run over is one of those things that just doesn't make good fodder for jokes (although I have a great story about Smokey the cat, who got snatched from his grave by our neighbors' dog while we were preparing for his funeral), but in this case, Bowie pulls it off.

Sarcastically regal music (smooches to the music guy, heh) brings us to Trump National, where the women are going to be playing some golf. They cross the green in their surprisingly modest attire, and then a golf ball is whapped. Whap! Then, as the women show off their extremely poor golf swings, Tammy voices over that there are lots of business deals done on the golf course and so forth. Well, not when you play like that, there aren't. Bashing the dirt with a golf club is not confidence-inspiring. Heidi squeal-whines, "I don't know how to do golf!" And then she interviews that she "can't fake it." She tells us that she would rather watch a football game, because she would like you to think she's Tough Tomboy Girl Who Likes Football. ["Yeah, she's a beer ad, all right." -- Wing Chun] Much extremely bad golfing ensues. As they're playing, Donald and Carolyn approach them; Donald says that he's "had something on [his] mind," and that he'd like to talk to them. "Let's go into Carolyn's office," he says. As it turns out, by the way, this is where Carolyn works -- she's the grand poobah of Trump National. Assorama says that she "didn't know what to expect."

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Apprentice

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