Apprentice
Ethics, Schmethics

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Miss Alli: B | 1 USERS: A+
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Lonely Planet Hollywood

When we return from commercials, the title card of the week says "A Deal's A Deal." Trump interviews that once you make a deal with someone, you have to carry it through. If you don't, you're hosed. "Once you shake hands, that should be it," he says. After following something floating around Manhattan in a kind of American Beauty rip-off shot, we return to Protégé's adventures at Planet Hollywood. Tammy and Omarosa are outside handing out five-dollar coupons. Hey -- for food, people. They're not that kind of girls. Well, not yet. We'll see what next week's challenge is. Amy, meanwhile, is writhing on the sidewalk like a woman who was in music videos ten years ago and still remembers a few of her moves. It's really charming. It would certainly make me come into the restaurant. Oh, wait, never mind. They don't care. They're managing a restaurant in ManWorld, where no one spends disposable income except men. Things degenerate to the point where the women are basically just milling around on the sidewalk yelling at people to buy shirts, and as Tammy explains, when George tracks down Katrina to ask her what the hell's going on, she just says they're "passionate." You can actually see Katrina try to bat her eyelashes at George, and even though you're looking at the back of his head, even the back of his head is saying, "Is she fuckin' kidding me?" Tammy explains that Katrina, despite being project manager, was unable to "coherently articulate what the plan was." Heidi despondently tells Katrina that the shirt-pushing thing just isn't working at all. "People are laughing!" she says. Well, that's just the eyebrows. (Rimshot!) Katrina consults with the group, and Ereka comes up with the idea of going over to find some tourists standing line for theater tickets and handing out coupons. Jessie thinks the coupon-pushing is kind of a loser idea, since coupons have a very small likelihood of ever actually being cashed in.

Nevertheless, some of the women head out onto the street to -- you guessed it -- hand out coupons. Heidi and Katrina, in particular, are dressed in their black, stiletto-heeled boots such that if I saw them on the streets of New York, I would literally -- literally -- assume that they were prostitutes. They just blew right by "offensive" and made it clear to "just plain fucking depressing." Also, Heidi's pleated skirt? Maybe fifteen years ago, sweetheart. They push coupons at the folks on the sidewalk, sometimes throwing in the "you get to meet the Shooters girls!" line, to which most people are understandably indifferent. I mean...it's New York. Wherever you are, if you want to see girls shake their asses, you're within a block of about sixteen thousand opportunities to do that, and most of them will involve girls more skilled at it than anyone you're going to find at Planet Hollywood, which in most circles in which I travel is regarded as only slightly less hip an establishment than Denny's. There's also a lovely moment when Katrina tells a bunch of guys who say they'll use their coupons tomorrow night that Planet Hollywood is closed tomorrow night. Now that is an interesting moment, cheating-wise, although apparently, nothing is going to happen as a result.

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Apprentice

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