Ethics, Schmethics

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | 1 USERS: A+
Lonely Planet Hollywood

Troy and Kwame are working the crowd out on the street, and when Troy goes up to one woman and tells her that there will be drink specials, she asks him if she can have a drink right now. Heh. Troy, eager to please, calls inside to Bowie to see about her vodka and grapefruit juice (feh -- you're trying to get a guy to bring you a drink outside, and you can't think of a better mixer than grapefruit juice?). Bowie is forced to break it to Troy that you can't peddle booze on the sidewalk. Snerk. Yeah, even I knew that one, Troy. I think Troy and Heidi should be hired to manage the Trump National School of Responsible Alcohol Sales. Carolyn looks on with concern. The guys next hop onto a tourist sightseeing bus, where they try to move some Planet Hollywood shirts, to no avail. Bowie is still out on the sidewalk being the barker, as is Nick. "Here's to the happy couple," Nick says to two people walking by. "She needs a drink, man, bring her upstairs." The guy looks back at Nick and says, "She's my sister." HA! Nick's like, "Oh, whoops." And then they both laugh, and the guy turns back to Nick and says, "And I'm not a redneck." Nick cackles. It's tragic that almost none of the candidates have said anything as funny all season as "I'm not a redneck." And that guy was ad-libbing! Bowie interviews that he's enjoying the "heckling" and contact and trying to get people's attention. It's not clear how much people are enjoying having their attention gotten.

Inside, Boyfriend Bill looks pensive. He's surveying the restaurant and noticing that it's nearly empty. Boy, if it's that empty, it's got bigger problems than Nick's failure to drag in enough guys and their sisters. Such as being about six times as big as it needs to be to accommodate everyone to whom it has ever occurred that they might want to eat or drink there. Bill says he thinks the outside guys are just not doing enough to get people into the building. Bowie brings him some merchandise numbers, and they're not so hot either. Bill interviews that pushing the swag was supposed to be Bowie's responsibility. We see Bowie trying to sell to the customers, and they're just not buying. Not buying the pictures, not buying the shirts, just...not buying. Nick tells Bill that he thinks they need to "step it up" and find some other way to bring people in. "We need some magic to happen here real quick," Bill says into the camera. He goes outside and makes it very clear to Kwame that they need more people inside, period, because they're dying. Troy says that "it's time to do something drastic," because they "need to be hoppin' [and] poppin' like a frog on a hot plate." Hee. Troy is an crusty old farmer trapped in the body of an underwear model. And honestly, what's not to like about that? The fellas of VersaCorp agree that they need to find some way to "create a buzz."

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