Get It In Gear

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | Grade It Now!
Lesson Three: Holidays Are For The Lazy

Lessons learned: People can surprise you by shifting back and forth from sucky to awesome. It's almost like you have to keep your eyes open and remember that everyone is a lot more complex than they let on, instead of giving them a thumbs-down on every single thing just because there's one thing you don't like about them. Sharks are contrary and don't eat the right people. The best Jews are the ones that forget they're Jewish altogether, because: talk about inconvenient. The conventional wisdom that says all therapists and stand-up comedians are batshit insane continues on, undisputed. Fat people can eat like a motherfucker. Don't trust immigrants. Or women. If wearing a Burberry tie makes you feel better, I say go for it. It's hard to stay upper-middle-class, especially in the middle of a barren field, but if you try hard enough, you can make it work. Horse-and-buggies are the kiss of death on this show. They are so five seconds ago. And if we can take one thing away from this episode, it is this: Stay Classy!

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