Apprentice
Get It In Gear

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Lesson Three: Holidays Are For The Lazy

Synergy brainstorms, and Roxanne points out the curious thing about Tahoes, which is that they are simultaneously "rugged and outdoorsy," but also "sleek." Sean synthesizes that SUVs are all about the illusion of power, but with the luxury of self-indulgence. All of this is obvious, but I like that they cut to the chase. Michael comes up with "Nature...Refined" as a theme, and they go nuts. Sean says, in a hysterically bombastic way, "In true Synergy fashion, we combined the ruggedness of the SUV" with the luxurious nature of an expensive car. Andrea goes off on how they will have shooting, hunting, fly fishing, and everybody's like, "We are fantastic!" Meanwhile, Brent eats some more, and slurps a soda. I forgot to mention this, but every time you read the word "Brent" in this recap, you can go ahead and assume that he's shoving something into his mouth. We're all about the subtlety on this show.

Gold Rush sets up stages and tents in their business suits as Theresa runs around chanting the word "classy" over and over. There will be a horse-drawn carriage, classy, and there will be a putting green, classy, and there will be Cory Kahaney, super-classy. She was on that show where they tried to be comedians, and I kind of liked her on the parts of that show that I saw, but she has clearly been through the ringer since then, because she looks really ragged and outdoorsy now. Lenny bothers the teamsters and bothers the teamsters, and they hate him, and then he bitchterviews about how that he has to do "everything," but all we see is him tying a few crappy balloons to stuff and affixing a sign to a tent and bothering the teamsters. I don't know why he's so tired. Meanwhile, Tarek is digging post holes for the putting green, which looks like shit, and getting bugged by Bill. Mostly, Tarek is upset because the whole putting green area looks crappy and not "classy," and because he has to dig a hole in front of Bill.

Theresa meets with Lenny about how there's no electric power for the tents and stages that he's been "setting up," and he fully looks her in the eye and tells her it's not his problem. She does not even understand his words. "What?" He gets really aggressive and defensive about how she can go fuck herself, and Bryce is like, "Wait, what?" Lenny explains that his job is done, and if they don't have electricity, that is somebody else's problem. Bryce gets very Dawson Leery on him about how "when one person drops the ball, it makes us all look bad," and Lenny just shrugs and wanders off, maddeningly. Bryce calls up somebody and charms them out of a generator, and then he and Theresa have a little talk about what a douche Lenny is, and Lenny tries to start shit with them, yelling some more about how he's so great and whatever, and is totally affronted by how they are being so rude as to think he's being a dick. Bryce and Lenny wander off in opposite directions, yelling insults, and Theresa and her giant boobs are like, "Man, this is hard. Somebody should really manage this team or something."

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12Next

Apprentice

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP