Getting Medieval

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: C- | Grade It Now!
One Knight Only

The next morning, Victoria is still perturbed that she's being sidelined. She says she called Lisa to propose asking Trump to put her on the men's team. She thinks the guys will acknowledge and appreciate her. Two things: 1.) Victoria, if you think the women are tough to be around, you have no idea. That said, 2.) Can we make this happen? Maybe the guys will trade George Takei. I feel like he would be glorious on Team Forte. And maybe he would get more screen time to be awesome because obviously he's getting overshadowed on Unanimous. Alas, that is only but a dream in my head. Lisa decides to smooth over Victoria's insubordination by treating her as she wants to be treated -- like a man. She tells all sorts of things about how important she will be, yadda yadda. She's pandering because Victoria is a spoiled child.

Elsewhere, the guys arrive on-scene to find Paul's "Medieval" motorcycle. They are sure it's going to be a huge hit, almost as big a hit as George's costume, which Clay explains: "He wore that costume like a five-year-old with a Halloween costume he didn't ever want to take off." Indeed, George has spring in his step as he parades around the place in his finery. He insists he's just taking advantage of dress rehearsal time and getting used to his costume, insisting that everyone should be dressed up, too. But really, he just loves him some golden robes. He does note that Dee could run into trouble when needs to ride side-saddle later in the day. We'll see...

Forte tech rehearsal. Surprise, surprise! Victoria sucks. Lisa grows frustrated, as does Dayana, who feels like Aubrey is pushy and that her teammates only want her to be a pretty face. That, she vows, is what she will do.

Team Unanimous goes into its dress rehearsal (but not before some gratuitous rough-housing from Lou and Clay (fanfic writers start typing!). Lou says he feels very confident, but Clay isn't sure George is going to be able to execute the lines that signal the lighting cues. Soon enough, there are bigger fish to fry because Dee falls of his horse and breaks his finger.

As the audience pours in, Dee refuses to seek medical treatment because, as they say, the show must go on. And so it does. Penn and Arsenio do their respective fire-eating and "Hound" (a.k.a. dog) pounding. George nails his lines, the two suitors emerge, followed by "Lady Dee Dee" and "her trust troubadour" Clay, who the crowd really digs. The suitors clack their swords, Lou emerges victorious, and then he realizes that his prize is a homely 56-year-old former hair metal artiste. He plunges the sword deep into his belly to avoid having to kiss "Lady Dee Dee." Everybody cheers! Yay olden days suicide! Sheesh.

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