Getting Medieval

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: C- | Grade It Now!
One Knight Only

Now for the ladies! Dayana rides out on her trusty steed, in her awkwardly nude body suit. Lisa waits for the cue of a trump, and she waits... and waits... yep, Victoria missed her cue. So Lisa powers on. As do the saber-wielding sweeties, especially Debbie and Tia, who end up flashing the kid-filled audience. Whoops! There's basically no plot as far as I can tell, and this thing is basically one orgy away from being a third-tier porn. Though, credit to Teresa, who not only gets to ask, "Is wench better [than honey]?" but also gets to flip a table. Love it. The show winds down and just when you think ol' Trump is going to end up alone, Aubrey comes out as a Snooki character (and falls really hard off her horse, which I'm pretty sure was not on purpose). Lisa insists, "We played to Jersey." She thinks they did their best but knows it's all down to the crowd response.

With that, it's boardroom time! Lisa begins to explain the concept to Trump, but he's all, "What about boobies?" Lisa says Dayana provided the T&A, though Don Jr. doesn't waste a chance to snark, "Tia wasn't afraid to shake it a little bit when she came in on the horse." Heh. Trump asks Lisa if she thinks her team won. She says they're confident but not cocky and that she doesn't underestimate Unanimous because last week "who woulda thought Paul would have a friend with 300 grand -- he can't even afford shirtsleeves." Trump turns to Victoria, who calls Lisa "strict" and reluctantly classifies Lisa as a good leader. Don Jr. wonders where the tension arose. Victoria defers to Lisa, who acknowledges Victoria probably felt pushed aside when she didn't get a performing role. Victoria insists that she and Lisa have worked out their differences (lie) and basically tells Trump to move on. So he does, to Teresa, and he's basically like, "Wow, you're a lot less of a psychopath than I thought!"

Lipton interjects to tell the Apprenti that he was surprised by their commitment and professionalism. They all clap, except Arsenio, who responds by doing the Dog Pound bark. Consummate professionalism, people!

On to the men. Dee has learned that he severely fractured his finger when Clay's tambourine freaked out the horse. Otherwise, it was a solid team performance, especially from Penn, whom Paul characterizes as a "phenomenal" PM. Lou agrees, and George anachronistically deems him "a Renaissance man." Seeing that he's going to have cut through the Week 2 rah-rah vibe, Trump asks Penn who he will bring back if they lose. Penn names Lou and George, citing their lack of versatility. Lou gets especially angry (you wouldn't like him when he's angry), and I fear that there are about to be some three-piece-suit shreds on the floor in a minute. Lou accuses Penn of being on a power trip and says he (and George, for that matter) can work twice as hard as Penn if given the chance, even if they don't have the pre-existing business know-how. Penn plays the diplomat, saying it wasn't a great choice to make in the first place but refusing to take back his picks. Lou admits he's upset with Penn, but Penn thinks Unanimous will win and hopes Lou will forgive him and move forward with him if that's the case.

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