Apprentice
Apprentice

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B | 614 USERS: B-
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Lesson Ten: After This Interview I'm Still Me

Nicole: "... I don't wanna talk about it, honestly."
Jacob: "OH MY GOD YOU DID NOT. HOW OLD ARE YOU? Seriously, starting shit like that and then getting hit in the face with a brick of logic that you can't whine your way around? So you call the whole thing off? Gross me out. Gross me out to the power of one thousand."
Nicole, interviewing: "What I wanted him to do was throw a big pointless hissy fit, damaging his rep within the team and ruining his relationship with sneaky-ass James, who doesn't trust either of us as it is, in the most unprofessional manner possible, for no real reason -- just like I did. But since he didn't -- and Tim doesn't even get why this is making me act so disgustingly -- I'm very upset. If you won't get in the sandbox with me... well, I won't dump you, because I'm too needy to ever dump a guy, but I will definitely make you wish you were dead. And I know you won't dump me, thanks to the fact that you've never had a girlfriend, and we're barely dating, and that would introduce even more pointless drama to this already nightmarishly unprofessional mess we've managed to shove in everybody's faces. So the long and short of it is: that's what the screaming's about."

Tim: "Um, it happened. Get over it. Gross me out. Nothing horrible is happening, you're not dying, I'm not going to tell the team to go fuck itself, I wouldn't do that ever, and I know that she represents herself as a person that wouldn't do that, whatever her actual behavior indicates. It's one of the things we love about each other: our made-up personas that have nothing to do with reality."
James: "We have to decimate her now, don't you think? She's acting crazy. Just remember that now she's on Kinetic, we hate her. I'm like your only friend left in the entire world. Besides Frank and the people in the real world, also. Hey did you notice that Frank and Stefani and I have a whole alliance that is completely obvious, and that you created by forming an obvious team-breaker of an alliance with Nicole, that she just put on blast in five different locations on both sides of the hedge? No? Good, let's talk more about your girlfriend troubles with your fake imaginary relationship. The important stuff."

Apprentice

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