Which, in terms of lessons learned, puts us in a weird place. Because if you say that, you're not going to, because of how changing works. Maybe it's better we're in Cali, this season, because I've seen more of that in CA than anywhere else: if you say it's a growing experience, it doesn't hurt. Now, I don't think losing on this gaywad game show should be a "hurtful" experience, but on the other hand if you're going to call it that, fucking get hurt. Those words are like a crucifix in a vampire movie: "Everything happens for a reason," "God has a plan for everybody." They're the opposite of feeling it. Sometimes you are better off not feeling it, like when people start saying that shit to you because you have cancer or miscarry: at that point, who you need to get pissed at today is God. The plan is for tomorrow, and the day after that. But today, hurt. Change feels like dying because it is. You hung your hopes on something stupid: everybody does that every day, Angela. Please claim something from this experience besides some deferred lesbian Everything Happens -- you deserve better than that. The fact is that the whole process fucked you up, and you realized you weren't as comfortable with people as you thought, and you weren't the salesperson you thought, and you weren't the bloodhound you thought. Those are awesome things to be and not be. One thing you didn't need to be is somebody other than Angela, and it kills me, because it seems like everybody here, even Frankie, even people not that egregious, have this idea that they're going to get legit, or stop being a jock or a princess or a basket case or whatever, change as a result of being on this show. Honey, you were going to do that anyway. Just get there.