What a boring episode! We've been spoiled! At least it wasn't totally offensive, so I guess it balances out. So Trump tells Arrow that they have to send a member to Kinetic, and perma-PM James is not wrong in pointing out that Frank and Stefani have clearly delineated areas of expertise, however surprising you might find that concept, but that he, Nicole and Tim are interchangeable. James can't go anywhere because he's the PM, so that leaves Tim and Nicole. I don't know how you'd answer the question, and you know how very unbiased I try to be, but there's a catch: kicking Nicole loose is an obvious move -- although she acquits herself well on both the task and most especially in the boardroom -- but also means inflicting her on Kinetic. Total sadness for those of us who persist in loving them for no reason. So that's what happens. Nicole, of course, goes with a minimum of grace or class and the maximum possible amount of bitching and trashiness, and continues to inflict it on anybody she can through the shrub. After a drunken rant or two, egged on by James, Tim goes crawling back and grovels to the extent of giving Nicole information about James's boardroom strategy. Frank, being in love with Nicole, is disgusted in every direction at once. The boring task -- sell overpriced Universal Theme Park ride tickets -- is enlivened somewhat when Arrow does their usual tacky shit, stealing as many customers to their kiosk from the girls of Kinetic (whom Nicole has placed on rollerskates, for reasons that are clear not even to PM Angela), causing Kinetic to throw massive fits about how tackiness shouldn't be allowed on this show. Ivanka is Viceroy on the scene, and quickly falls out of love with whining Angela. Arrow wins by a good 23% margin, because sales is all they know. Nicole continues to bitch and moan through the hedge, Tim continues to not know what the hell to do about it besides be grateful he has his first girlfriend, Angela continues to be really ineffective at all that post-loss pre-boardroom stuff, Frank continues to be right about everything, no matter how annoying or drunk he gets. Which is of course very, in both cases. In the boardroom, Nicole, as I said, is very quick and well-spoken, which is the opposite of what Angela is. The whole thing ends with Ivanka and her dad on their very knees begging Angela to give them one damn reason not to fire her, while James takes cheap potshots and Heidi resumes her boring, smug ways; Angela sadly can't think of or say anything of worth at all, and thus gets fired. Sigh. Jocks.
Last week, Kristine and Heidi got rid of both Muna and Jesus. They went back to the yard and were pissed about it, cutely. Meanwhile (?) in the boardroom, Ivanka and Trumpy crawled right up Heidi's ass about Muna asking Heidi if she was going to be the next Apprentice. It was stupid. Meanwhile, Heidi and Kristine came back to camp (?). Kristine describes all of this as Arrow "shooting their point" into Kinetic. It's weird, imagery-wise. She wanted to be the Final Four and now she will not. Angela has a headache; Heidi suggests an Aleve while Kristine suggests a beer. Angela's like, "Beer is medicinal? Cool." She's very out of it, thanks to the headache; it's fairly adorable. Kristine tells us she's happy to not be fired, and toasts her sisters in "what's left of Kinetic."
Down at the pool, Tim and Nicole are still waiting for somebody to care. Frank volunteers and fruits on over to them with a weird hip-shaking saunter and the ubiquitous beer and cigar-chomping. My God with Frank's idea of the High Life already. Tim's like, "Hey buddy," but of course Nicole is making a face about the interruption of her love maneuvers. Tim and Frank chill out by the pool, and Nicole cuddles up grossly between them, talking the most idiotic nonsense: "You know, it would be like the perfect Final Three with us, that would be like an insane competition, because I could totally look at you, Frank, like, 'Frankie, you're going down, man.' And you could be like, 'Bitch, you're going down.' You know? Like, we would totally trash-talk each other, you know what I mean? But like, with respect. You know? Like, we would know we would be joking." I mean verbatim she says this. Even Tim's embarrassed for her. Everybody giggles stupidly, because what can you do? This is Arrow. That's all we've got, is talk like that. Although my obsession with Frank's secret crush on Nicole is so totally validated through this whole episode. If this show were the Gossip Girl books -- which I fully represent, they're like the only books I've ever actually read -- there would be a scene in this episode where Frank walks in on Nicole in the shower and then can't look away, just like when Aaron wouldn't stop staring at Blair Waldorf in flagrante with Miles in St. Bart's, even though she's his stepsister and even though you can so obviously tell that Serena ven der Woodsen's into him.
The phone rings, and Trump tells James that, Kinetic being "decimated," Trump wants one of the Arrow kids to move to Kinetic. Trump's wondering if James can "handle that" for him, and James is wondering how to be shady as possible. He asks for volunteers and nobody volunteers, and finally Trump gets bored and hangs up on him for being a baby about it. James tells them that Trump was freaking out and being very dramatic about how it has to happen right now, even though he pretty much wasn't, just being pissed that James was stalling and trying to game everything all the time. "He told me to just pick one," James says, which isn't exactly true but I guess that's the obvious implication. "I'm not sending Frankie, I need him for his... hands." Frank's not impressed with this kind of insulting approbation of his only skills that matter: carpentry, construction, running around like a five-year-old that has to pee. "Stefani has organizational skills, that's something I don't have." Along with awesomeness, of course. However, James can't really understand the difference between Tim and Nicole, he says. Which is just so sad, and at this point so true, that it made me bite right through my teacup: "You're both... creative? And it... blends together? ... But I can't lose them," he says, indicating Stefani and Frank.