Apprentice
Girls On Rollerskates

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Lesson Ten: After This Interview I'm Still Me
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Last week, Kristine and Heidi got rid of both Muna and Jesus. They went back to the yard and were pissed about it, cutely. Meanwhile (?) in the boardroom, Ivanka and Trumpy crawled right up Heidi's ass about Muna asking Heidi if she was going to be the next Apprentice. It was stupid. Meanwhile, Heidi and Kristine came back to camp (?). Kristine describes all of this as Arrow "shooting their point" into Kinetic. It's weird, imagery-wise. She wanted to be the Final Four and now she will not. Angela has a headache; Heidi suggests an Aleve while Kristine suggests a beer. Angela's like, "Beer is medicinal? Cool." She's very out of it, thanks to the headache; it's fairly adorable. Kristine tells us she's happy to not be fired, and toasts her sisters in "what's left of Kinetic."

Down at the pool, Tim and Nicole are still waiting for somebody to care. Frank volunteers and fruits on over to them with a weird hip-shaking saunter and the ubiquitous beer and cigar-chomping. My God with Frank's idea of the High Life already. Tim's like, "Hey buddy," but of course Nicole is making a face about the interruption of her love maneuvers. Tim and Frank chill out by the pool, and Nicole cuddles up grossly between them, talking the most idiotic nonsense: "You know, it would be like the perfect Final Three with us, that would be like an insane competition, because I could totally look at you, Frank, like, 'Frankie, you're going down, man.' And you could be like, 'Bitch, you're going down.' You know? Like, we would totally trash-talk each other, you know what I mean? But like, with respect. You know? Like, we would know we would be joking." I mean verbatim she says this. Even Tim's embarrassed for her. Everybody giggles stupidly, because what can you do? This is Arrow. That's all we've got, is talk like that. Although my obsession with Frank's secret crush on Nicole is so totally validated through this whole episode. If this show were the Gossip Girl books -- which I fully represent, they're like the only books I've ever actually read -- there would be a scene in this episode where Frank walks in on Nicole in the shower and then can't look away, just like when Aaron wouldn't stop staring at Blair Waldorf in flagrante with Miles in St. Bart's, even though she's his stepsister and even though you can so obviously tell that Serena ven der Woodsen's into him.

The phone rings, and Trump tells James that, Kinetic being "decimated," Trump wants one of the Arrow kids to move to Kinetic. Trump's wondering if James can "handle that" for him, and James is wondering how to be shady as possible. He asks for volunteers and nobody volunteers, and finally Trump gets bored and hangs up on him for being a baby about it. James tells them that Trump was freaking out and being very dramatic about how it has to happen right now, even though he pretty much wasn't, just being pissed that James was stalling and trying to game everything all the time. "He told me to just pick one," James says, which isn't exactly true but I guess that's the obvious implication. "I'm not sending Frankie, I need him for his... hands." Frank's not impressed with this kind of insulting approbation of his only skills that matter: carpentry, construction, running around like a five-year-old that has to pee. "Stefani has organizational skills, that's something I don't have." Along with awesomeness, of course. However, James can't really understand the difference between Tim and Nicole, he says. Which is just so sad, and at this point so true, that it made me bite right through my teacup: "You're both... creative? And it... blends together? ... But I can't lose them," he says, indicating Stefani and Frank.

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Apprentice

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