Frank is drunker than hell, interviewing in bed. I loooove the "In Bed With Frank" interview concept, and we get two of them tonight which makes me think they might become permanent. I hope so, it's just so awesome. He's like the Sanjaya of the Bronx, this guy. I literally cannot get enough of him. Go see his website; it's remarkably Frankie. He calls this an "all-out war," and James notes how they're finally converging on the same turf.
James addresses Arrow with a TRUE OR FALSE:
1. Can Frank beat Heidi?
2. Can Tim beat Nicole?
3. Can James beat Angela?
4. Can Stefani beat Kristine?
1. FALSE (At gawking, guffawing, and thrift, perhaps.)
2. NOOOO COMMENT
3. TRUE (At lying, creeping, and sneaking, and at being a fuckwad, yes. As we will most certainly see in just a moment.)
4. NO IDEA (I still have zero grasp of Kristine beyond adoring her; in other news, did you know that Frankie started in event planning? That's just so...Frankie Suits is like a character out of a Robert Kiyosaki anecdote. "At the age of 14, Frankie Suits created an events planning company, and within a week, he was hiring migrant workers at fifteen different plants across the world. And here's what he told me, that my dipshit dad never would... ")
Frank and Tim reminisce about the love of their lives, how they just know that she's getting Kinetic "all riled up" and telling them how awesome the selling power of Arrow really is. Which she is. It's a different spin than they think, and frankly than I was worried about, but she's essentially filling Kinetic in on their strengths and weaknesses. The one thing I like best about Arrow is that they can sell anything, in bulk, and work it out. I like Tim regardless, but that's really Frank and James's coolest quality. Tim interviews that he misses her like so bad, but on the other hand, they're both very competitive people, and the idea of her laughing in his face about winning their own personal competition makes him want to smash her face in, and he tells Arrow that he is going to fight dirty tomorrow. Everybody's heart grows three sizes from how romantic that is. Frank drinks a beer and looks at Tim. "I don't care how we win," Tim says. "I really don't."
Duh. And what's funny is that their concept was good enough that they would have won anyway, so the creepiness with which they go about selling, and the more important creepiness with which they have to continually justify this to themselves instead of just doing it, is like a grody cherry on a wonderful dessert. As Arrow's setting up, James is already stressing because he doesn't know what Kinetic's doing. His eyes, already shifty due to his ponderous sneakiness, dart around like a shellshocked vet as he wonders what they'll be doing: something stupid? Something crazy? Or something really good? (All three, but mostly #1.) Stefani, helping him carry a sign as he says this, says the first of two hilariously tart things: "It's too late to change our minds now." As though he's going to try that shit after last week. Well, I'm sure he's still covering his ass every way he can think of, but he'll have to be subtle now that they've caught him at it. I don't know what's going on with Stefani. I wish she'd be PM again one day, but that means losing and then winning, so that's at least two weeks from now, and I despair for her staying that long because of the increasingly invisible and increasingly bitchy edit she's getting lately. If she starts praying, we're dead in the water.