Trump tells the Apprenti about how he doesn't have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, because he's a bigger star even than Ryan Seacrest, and that he has the number one show on TV. Which wasn't even true when he said it, last summer. Not the bizarre lie that it is now, watching him say it, but still a blatant untruth at the time. The only thing awesomer is Ivanka's adoring gaze on her crazy old dad. It's the sweetest thing I've ever seen, like ever, or on this show at the very least. It's so loving it makes me feel more warmly towards him. I actually rewound that part, because it's just this brilliant, indulgent smile, like, "You are so crazy! I love my daddy!" I would totally do this job if I were her, travel around in his company and watch him do this crap he does. If you were related to him, it would be like being related to any other racist misogynist homophobe, you know? And probably we are, and hopefully we still love whoever it is, and it would be easier than having to only see what he wants us to see, which is a really poorly prioritized portrait of all the things he thinks are going to impress us.
Task: The "largest movie studio... theme park," in the world. I love that little ellipsis in there, like they're in Hollywood and they're not going to have an actual film-related task, you know? (Spoiler people: Am I wrong? They gotta have at least like a Zenthura or something, right?) The theme park, or Hollywood, or possibly Trump himself, is the "entertainment capital of L.A.," which is like saying some random something is the "political capital of D.C.," to my ears, and he tells us that eight million people go to Universal every year. Why? Is that... I have this vague memory from childhood of a commercial with like a shark coming out of the water or Frankenstein maybe. ... Possibly that was a dream, actually. Which explains why Frankenstein was like, "You have to find Jane Seymour and show her your new shirt!" and why everybody I've ever met was there. Although the latter, Trump would say, is the reality of Universal Studios. Not only do Universal make "amazing" movies, and buy amazing websites, and pay my rent, they also once built a spectacular theme park, to which Trump has been "many times." Why? Theme parks, I don't understand them. Ivanka finally explains the task part of the task, working the crowd at USH to sell special passes with some kind of special system that makes you look like RoboCop. (If, of course, RoboCop hadn't been made by Orion and then sold to MGM in '97, so I guess it's more like... Florence Lawrence.) The most money wins, using this dazzling gargoyle technology that will scare children and make you feel like you're in Tron (Buena Vista!), and Ivanka will be watching you. Then somebody will be fired. The music is like, "This is going to be good!" As they file out, Nicole giggles and pretends to hit Frank in the face; it's pretty cute.