Apprentice

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Going Once, Twice, You're Fired

You should know that I have a bunch of seldom-seen friends from out of town here for a one-night-only visit, M. Small is with the grandparents for the night, and all the circumstances are in place for a rare evening of partying and debauchery. And yet instead I am doing the responsible and grown-up thing, namely, sitting in my basement and making fun of Donald Trump on the internet. It sucks being an adult sometimes.

So Trump has just informed the final four -- Carol Alt, Trace Adkins, Lennox Lewis, and Piers Morgan -- that two of them are going t be fired tonight. The deal is that they're all going to be interviewed by two business reporters: Erin Burnett from CNBC, and Jim Cramer from Mad Money (and earlier this season), who will then tell Trump who their favorites were and weren't.

Out in the lobby, Piers has already commenced trying to psych out his fellow competitors. He's confident in what this means for his chances, since the one thing he's good at is talking. That he is. There's a montage of each of the four competitors talking to each of the two reporters, who start with softball questions about their respective charities. Carol, Piers, and Trace do well, but Lennox flounders and stumbles over his words. The questions move on to how each of them thinks they have been doing in the competition, and who each of them thinks should be fired. The editing speeds up to simulate rapid-fire questions, which doesn't really earn me any sympathy for the contestants until I remember that they've been going full throttle since that morning, and already completed a task and survived a board room earlier in the day. I probably wouldn't want to face Jim Cramer under those circumstances. Not that there are many circumstances under which I would want to face Jim Cramer, but you get my point.

When the interviews are over, they're back waiting in the lobby. Trump breezes past them into he interview room to get Erin's and Cramer's opinions. Erin's least favorite was Piers, due to his "edge." But Cramer points out that Piers raises plenty of money. However, he warns, if Trump is looking for teamwork and leadership instead of just huge amounts of cash, then "Piers must be stopped." Lucky for Piers, Trump has never been more interested in anything than huge amounts of cash. Cramer's favorite was Carol, but Erin liked Trace the most. Cramer's picks for the final two are Trace and Carol. We don't hear who Erin's two favorites are, either to create suspense or because Erin is a girl and thus Trump will ignore her anyway.

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Apprentice

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