Apprentice
Apprentice

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: C | 267 USERS: C
YOU GRADE IT
Chronic Fa-Tiegs Syndrome

Unanimous. There are nine minutes to go, and Paul's whales have yet to arrive. Says Clay, "We could be screeeeeeewed!" Quite the contrary, Dayana pulled in a $20,000 check to end the day for Forte. Patricia thanks her team from the bottom of her heart, though she is worried that she'll let down the kids if her team doesn't win. I don't know about the kids, but she's let me down by rounding up such a functional, drama-free first challenge.

Boardroom! Patricia tells Trump she has no doubt her team won because they made a lot of money and worked well together. But it was Dayana who was the star with her big check and ability to bring in people. Trump asks what Tia did. She says she worked the register, and Patricia said she was amazing at making sure everyone who checked out had a great experience. Trump asks Patricia if she would bring Tia back if they lose. Patricia says she definitely not and Tia inexplicably says, "You can bring me back." Trump's, like, "Don't be stupid, Tia." Tia: Gulp. Trump forces Patricia to ask who were the weak links. She hesitantly admits Cheryl -- because she didn't bring any money -- and Victoria. Victoria assumes it's because she didn't participate in the three-ring circus and instead stayed in the back and made sandwiches. Patricia says Victoria wasn't a team player because she didn't answer phone calls during her cornea drama. Oh, Patricia. You really can't argue that someone's not a team player when they are injured. Whether you buy into Victoria's cornea situation is one thing, and yes it was distracting, but that's not a strong leg to start on.

On to the men. Trump welcomes Michael and turns to Paul, who says Penn was the MVP. Like Patricia, he hems and haws about naming a weak link, then calls out George and Arsenio. George, he argues, doesn't have a strong enough personality to stand up to the other guys. Trump doesn't buy this argument considering George's work for gay rights. George is likewise taken aback by being described as "meek." He's, like, "I grew up in internment camps, bitch." Paul looks like an asshat, is what I'm saying. George is reserved, maybe. Soft-spoken, yes. Meek? No. As for Arsenio, Paul has no reason behind this pick. Adam snarks that, "You told Paul to pick two guys to bring back, and he picked three minority groups [black, gay, Asian] to kick off the show. Nice going, Paul!" Everyone laughs, and tension breaks a little.

Apprentice

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