Quick Quiz! Do you really want Michelle to be able to say she had to force you out of bed mid-task?
James is getting antsy at the bus, with the crowd, when Aaron arrives with the Laker Girls, like eight or ten of them, and everybody cheers, and they start signing autographs. Aaron, in interview, describes it as "almost a mob scene," pointing out the very smart and salient fact that the final measure of success is the audience surveys, which means giving them a great atmosphere and environment from start to finish. Basically, even if they don't have a good time, fooling them into thinking they're having a good time is just as good or better, because they're going to be filling out comment cards. This is the key to this task, and any audience survey task, and I've never thought about it that way, but it's held true every season. Smart. Stefani hands out snacks and water and is adorable, and Ivanka arrives, to be conducted onto the bus by James, who screams about how she is their SPECIAL GUEST. I think people clap for her. The guy driving the bus is wearing an Uncle Sam hat for no reason. FAMOUS PLACES BEAUTIFUL FACES, James screams like a billion times, and then proceeds to talk crazy for hours and hours. Aaron interviews that James has a "dominant personality," and that his loudness is both good and bad. He yells about Sean Connery for a while. Aaron begs him to calm down, from his interview in the future. James asks for a ROUND OF APPLAUSE for the PARENTS of the world. Stefani interviews, chuckling, that James is "like an emcee with a whole lot of energy and nothing to say," and admits that she wanted to wring his neck. If they lose, she says, it's on James. Everybody wonders what his deal is, on the whole bus. YOU PROBABLY THINK THIS IS THE CRAZIEST TOUR BUS YOU'VE EVER BEEN ON, he screams!
Nicole is wearing her tuxedo, welcoming people, while Michelle acts weird some more. As expected, Nicole looks like she works at a movie theatre. Michelle interviews her hope that once the tour starts and the four of them "get their magic going," they will somehow rock out. "It's going to come down to what we do on this bus ride that will make the difference," she foreshadows; cut to Michelle talking totally whack as the tour begins: "We're so happy to have you on our bus today! As you probably know our theme for the day is, a day in the life of the rich and famous! I wanted to take an opportunity to explain how we feel this. This means to us, this theme, so through the eyes of the rich and famous the -- uh, the elements of being in the caliber of the rich and famous." There's a girl looking disbelieving and confused about this bizarre word salad. "So, that having been said... " Nicole, and I'll give her this, gives a funny little interview: "When Michelle was on the mic, she was making absolutely no sense. Maybe she needed sleep more than the rest of us?" Seriously. "And Tim here will be giving you the facts of many of the sites," Michelle says crazily.