Apprentice
Hollywood Walk Of Shame

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Jacob Clifton: B- | Grade It Now!
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Lesson Three: Finite & Infinite Games

Her first choice is Tim, of course, because he's the best and because if you get Tim on your side, he'll stop lining everybody up against you. He's the only person on the team you can pick at this point. He rolls his eyes hatefully and looks like he wants to kill himself; it's hilarious. He is the funniest person. Aaron takes James first; they high-five. Michelle takes Nicole next, because in for a penny, and she makes her usual sullen, awful, needy, hateful face. Aaron takes Stefani, leaving Frank, who's growing on me for now. "My man from the Bronx," Trump calls him, and notes that it's no good that he's picked last. Somehow it seems like he gets picked last a lot, even though this is the first time he's been picked for anything on this show at all. Trump laughs about how he's okay and they still like him even though he was picked last. He goes with Michelle's group, for reasons we don't know about, and I have to say that this is the sole and precise situation that would make me like him, because he's the only one that's going to be reasonable. (As long as you keep him separate from Nicole, because they will encourage each other's trashiness. And you can't let her be with Tim either, because they'll just snakebite and fuck around to mess with Michelle, and encourage each other's meanness. And you can't have her with Michelle, because she'll openly balk, and they won't be able to converse with each other because they're on opposite sides of some kind of bell curve, and she will fuck it up while looking directly in Michelle's eyes, because she's gross. So really, isn't the common thread -- isn't the problem here -- Nicole? Again?)

Task: Blah blah blah hotels and whatever, people come to L.A. County all the time because blah blah, tourism is a fifty trillion dollar in-dust-ry, whatever whatever segue already. DJ explains that they're going to organize a Starline Bus Tour with a theme, to be judged on creativity, substance, and performance. The measure of success will be a survey of the tourist group that gets the tour. Michelle interviews the high probability that her team will want her to lose this task so they can get rid of her, and so of course the "stakes" are "higher" than they've "ever" been, for Michelle. In this game, that is. (And not to beat the horse, but I can't even see Tim doing that; unless that's what he's doing all through the episode, which is somewhat likely and totally awesome if it's true, because he doesn't even gloat for the cameras, if he's doing it on purpose. If this is really what's going on here, he's maybe the best person to ever play this game, and if not, and he's just having a bad day: Nicole still sucks, because she actually would throw the task just to be a jerk, which Frank is least of all likely to do out of the four of them, because that salt of the earth shtick is still true, no matter how obnoxious it is.)

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Apprentice

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