Apprentice
Apprentice

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | 636 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Office space

The door to the L-Pal opens, and Bren and Alex return. Hugs are exchanged. Alex interviews, however, that returning to the L-Pal without his little buddy just "wasn't the same." Yeah. No spitting, no paranoid fantasies...it was like there was a hole in his little baboon heart. Tana asks the guys how Chris took his firing, and they report that he "got real emotional." Alex refers to Chris's demeanor as "teared up." Tana says, "He was choked up, but he walked out all right?" And Alex says, "Yeah." Which is awesome, because Tana was exactly asking whether Chris managed to exit without making a big slobbering scene like a leopard just ate his pet hamster, and he totally didn't. But it's not like Alex can say that, I guess. Especially since he and Chris were such close buds, once they got over the threats of physical violence. Alex and Bren compare notes and determine that they both thought they were going next. Bren then interviews that he believes that he's now "lower than whale crap at the bottom of the ocean" to Trump. Bren gives Tana the lowdown on the beating he took for writing such bad marketing copy. "I just bit my tongue," he happily reports to her. "I wasn't a smart-ass in any way." And then Bren tells us in an interview that he's actually done a lot of tongue-biting during this experience, and is "tired of the blood in [his] mouth." Then he adds, "Then again, maybe the blood in my mouth is just making me thirsty for more." You know, a guy with that particular look really doesn't need to go down the road of talking like a serial killer. You always have to look out for the stumpy ones who don't shampoo.

Alex and Bren leave the L-Pal together, having decided to just kick back for some drinks. As they enjoy a beer, Bren voices over that he showed up wanting "fame and fortune and working for Mr. Trump," and he never anticipated making a "best friend." But now he has one. And it's Alex! They're best friends! That would be so cute if I liked either of them. I also would like to take this moment to mark the place in history when Bren's tie was straight. Bren's tie, in this interview, is straight! Bren's tie, so frequently convinced that it's 10:20 (tm Miss Alli's Mom), now believes that it is 9:15 on the button. Imagine that. Back at the bar, Bren gives Alex a couple of cigar lessons, because that's neither clichéd nor homoerotic at all, and Alex calls Bren his "oasis in this vast, imbecilic land." And he's kind of an ass, but boy, do I ever have friends about whom I would say that very same thing. Not that this particular land is vast or imbecilic. Like, at all. Because it's totally not. And then he adds, "I'm surrounded by morons and their mascots." "Mascots"? Okay, he lost me there. At least the dumb people I know manage without big foam-rubber animal heads. Still, you know, it's kind of ironic that I sense that I know how Alex is generally feeling, in part because of all the time I spend watching Alex. It's the circle of life, with more contempt and fewer lions.

Apprentice

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP