Apprentice
I Can't Believe It's Not Clutter

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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
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Office space

Bren and Alex road-trip to Smart Design, which is a company that helps design products and build prototypes. The guy offers to show them some metals and plastics and such, and indeed, they are taken to a workroom and shown a block of plastic. You know, that totally inspires me to invent a Block-Of-Plastic caddy to hold all my blocks of plastic! Alex then explains that "it was time to call the executives." But in a blow to the Space Communicator Company, whatever reception they're getting in the Smart Design conference room isn't doing it for them, because they're unable to complete their phone calls to the people at Staples. As it turns out, there's a whole team of folks whom Alex has decided not to meet with, because he thinks he can "get the same thing out of a phone conversation." He goes on to say, unbelievably stupidly, "They're not a client. They're just judges." Idiot! Semantics. The point is that they're the decision-makers. When you want to influence a decision, you reach out to the decision-makers. How freaking hard is that to understand? Alex has social skills markedly inferior to those of my parents' dog, who has been known to throw up under the dining-room table. In fact, Alex admits that as the telephone tag fell apart, he started to wonder if perhaps he should have met with the executives in person. Gee, I wonder. (My parents' dog: "Arf!") He refers to his terrible decision-making in this instance as "a huge risk." A-ha! Turn a negative into a positive! Way to go, Alex! You didn't fuck up, you just rolled the dice! Who knew they'd come up snake eyes! Time for a cocktail! I can't stand him; I really can't. He's Beneath My Argyle Sweater Beats The Heart Of A Champion Guy, and there is no one who bores me more than that guy during a group endeavor, with the possible exception of They Broke The Mold When They Made Me And My Long Hair And My Ironic T-Shirts And My Black Trench Coat Guy.

"Take Control" is this week's Trump motto, so accordingly, we watch Trump order someone working on a building to do a "perfect job." I'm sure that's exactly what the guy needed in order to meet his full potential, by the way. Just a blowhard blowing as hard as he can, all, "Do a perfect job!" Trump goes on to say that "if a leader can't control his subordinates, he's not a leader, he's not a good businessman, he's going to be a failure, whether it's a he or a she, it's going to be bad." We watch a meeting in which he says nothing of substance to a young-ish woman, and then we are blissfully done with this part of the show, which I hate every week almost as much as the Things Are Going Great ™ conversation.

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Apprentice

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