Apprentice
I Can't Believe It's Not Clutter

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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
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Office space

And it's not like Craig is done yet. "Now," he says, trying to seem commanding, "I've given you respect that you don't even deserve, young lady." Wow. Nothing like telling people they don't deserve your respect to make them do great work. And "young lady"? Oooh, we love that. Kendra immediately points out that "young lady" is rather a shitty way to talk to a grown woman in a professional situation, which is exactly correct. She goes on in frustration: "Every time I've asked you to do something, you've told me, 'no.'" "Every time?" he asks sarcastically. "Listen to your use of...of verbage [sic]." As was pointed out to me this week, you can technically use the word "verbiage" and pronounce it kind of like that, but it still has a meaning that makes "use of verbiage" not really appropriate there, even indulging the (in my opinion) incredibly generous notion that that's what Craig is doing. "Okay," Kendra says. "Almost every time." "Okay, now you're a liar!" Craig nearly snarls at her. Jesus Christ, what a fucking asshole. "So is that condescending?" he adds. Well, no. That has nothing to do with being condescending. That's just nasty and illogical and kind of weirdly, spasmodically moralistic. What the hell is he talking about? He makes no sense. I kind of understand what Kendra and some of the rest of the folks on the show have been talking about, because the way he explains things is seriously very hard to make heads or tails of. "If you're trying to create a positive team dynamic, you're doing a piss-poor job," Kendra finally says. And...honestly. I mean, she's no great shakes, but his behavior here is just appalling. Appalling and gross and deserving of a punch in the kidneys.

And then Tana just takes a big bite out of her sandwich. Which is awesome, whether it's a little apocryphal or not. Sometimes, there's nothing to be gained from getting involved.

As they head for the presentation, Tana says that indeed, she was pretty unhappy about trying to pull off a major presentation with two teammates who despise each other. Hope the sandwich was good! The executives and the office managers walk in as Kendra voices over that while Craig is "an ass," they at least have their desire to win in common. Heh. She says that for that reason, they could fake their way through it. "It's kind of like faking a marriage that went bad years ago," she says. Living rooms all across America grow strangely silent, until someone laughs hoarsely and says, "Ha-ha-ha, good one!" Craig kicks off the presentation with a welcome, which he does while seated behind a desk. He then passes it over to Kendra, who starts by explaining how they talked to some consumers to get ideas for their product. They proceed through a little role-play where Craig plays the part of a beleaguered office type with a desk full of crap, while Tana brings him the organizer caddy thing, and he puts all of his stuff into it. The least convincing part is that they fill up the big, unnecessary box created in the middle of the thing with reams of paper, which do not belong on top of your desk to begin with. I think it's generally true that the major cause of clutter is failure to throw things away, not lack of little places to tuck things. So...whatever. Craig fills up the organizer with pens and whatnot, stuffing it full of notebooks and highlighters. Why anyone would have, like, fifteen highlighters on his desk, I'm not sure, but maybe Craig is playing the part of an office manager who's also in high school...or possibly several high schools at the same time. The executives have a few questions, including whether the lazy-Susan mechanism can be locked (it can't), but generally, they seem impressed. One of them comments that it's a little big, but it's "interesting." So that will do it for that presentation.

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Apprentice

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