Apprentice
Apprentice

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B- | 667 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Lesson Four: Strap It Back

Felisha is wearing an awesome Chanel-ish pink suit with a mid-length skirt, and Alla is now dressed like...a vampire's sexy grandma. They enter, and Toral's already smirking creepily. Trump's immediately like, "Felisha! What the fuck? You didn't even have branding on the character?" She says the thing about the spoon and Carolyn's all over it, and also you couldn't read the name on the spoon. Toral nods in that Markus way where she's like, "I know, right? Silly candidates. Let's fire them all!" George is aghast, because companies spend so many billions a year on brand identity and all that, and Jennifer speaks up. "I suggested it on the t-shirt," she begins, and Marshawn backs her up. "Yes, I remember that. But we changed it." Trump wonders why they would do that, and Rebecca is rueful. Marshawn's like, "There's nothing to say to that." That's taking it a bit far, but I've noticed Marshawn hates silences, especially when the team is going to look stupid if they don't say anything.

Toral is like, "I believe that this group is outstanding at setting up balloons, and cheese trays, and making song and dance routines -- which I believe are parts of event planning. I don't think they're components of strategic marketing. Strategic marketing [about which I do not know anything, or so I will say when I feel like lying, which is all the time] is about placement, product, promotion, distribution, targeting and positioning." All of these things, of course, she continues to screech about while everyone else is attempting to talk, because they're interested in having some kind of a conversation, rather than making crazy-people lists of words. Trump's like, "Okay, Miss Strategic Marketing, where the hell were you on this task?" Kristi goes, "She was nonexistent." Toral screams about how she kept "saying that [list of things] over and over again" and Alla goes, "Nonexistent, that's where she was!" Alla's got panache, yeah.

Apprentice

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