Apprentice
Ice Cream Of Genie

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Jacob Clifton: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Lesson Four: Strap It Back
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

The entire teaser takes place over last week's unending, torturous Boardroom, as the Blonde Coven nurse their massive headaches about how Toral's going to be busting their nuts right into the Boardroom every week for the rest of the season. Most delightfully, the recap includes the awful exchange between Trump and Toral where he tells her to enjoy the view that Rebecca bought her, and her snitty and smarmy "Thank you, I will." I can't believe I ever said she was cute. God. While everybody's waiting for Rebecca, Jen W., and/or the totally safe Jen M. to return, Markus and Toral drink some wine and feel great about themselves some more.

Kristi -- bitterly, like I need to note that -- bitches that Toral isn't even wasting her time waiting for Rebecca, especially since Kristi's convinced that they're never going to see her again. Felisha, who has a really intriguing face, tells us that Rebecca's decision was less about loyalty than stupidity, and that "she's going to go home for it." Gee, I hope they don't hold this against her forever and ever. I wonder how much they hate her going to bat for Toral because of Trump's praise of it, and how much is because...well, because it was retarded, and aligned her with the hated Toral.

Rebecca and Jennifer (née the triumphant Jen M.) return, and everybody's happy to see them. Kinda. Toral lugs her wine in there as an afterthought, as Kristi and Felisha are somewhat nice to Rebecca. Kristi does that "everything's on my face" fakeout, all, "I didn't expect to see you back! I really didn't! You must've held it good in there!" She's got just enough of the wide-eyed innocence that I still kind of believe her when she does this shit. Like when she was so pleased by Rebecca's broken ankle -- how much was viper ambition and how much was sisterhood? Nobody can say. I really go back and forth with her. I like her this episode. Meanwhile, Toral skulks around and stares creepily, because if she graduated with any of those contested degrees we keep hearing about, number one is: skulking and bitching and being ungrateful.

Rebecca immediately impresses me again: "As a team," she says, they have "a lot to talk about before [their] next task." I love how that leaves the door open to whatever the Bloven is interested in discussing: like, whether they're all about "leaving it in the Boardroom," like Josh last week, or "bitching me out for selling everybody down the river for no good reason," or "how to kill Toral" -- she wants to take the temperature first, and is notifying them of her openness to that up front. She confides in us the basically obvious fact that Kristi, Alla, and Felisha "really wanted to understand why I didn't bring Toral into the boardroom, and what my thoughts were." I wouldn't mind hearing about those myself, even though I really enjoyed seeing that shit work itself out in the last Boardroom.

They all lounge on the beds in one small room, like all good sorority sisters do when they've got their knives out, and Felisha negligently indicates Toral on her left with a tossed-off wrist. "I hope sincerely that we get to see what you see in Toral...it felt like you were just going 'here's my friend, I'm going to protect her,' when we've not seen what you...apparently have seen out of her." See, I've been liking Felisha's AAUGH reaction shots, but I think that was brilliantly worded. Throughout the episode, she consistently gives you the option of proving you're not the idiot or asshole that you clearly are. It's a fun strategy. Rebecca nods, and acknowledges that Toral is to all appearances worthless: "I do see something in Toral, and I guarantee you that you will see her step up on the next task. I guarantee it." Kristi descends like an adorable harpy, with the hate finger all up in your face. "For each task that we've had, have you, Toral, given...your all, in every single task?" Toral, who has not yet and will never see the snares looping slowly around her feet like vines in that one Star Wars movie, is like, "Uh, probably not." I would have slapped her. Just LIE! Blame-shift! Something! She goes blue-screen every single time -- this isn't merely "stepping up" to make a brilliant marketing decision, or do something stupid or whatever, it's "stepping up" to take part in a fucking conversation! Which is about her! Her favorite thing ever!

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Apprentice

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