Apprentice
Ice Cream Of Genie

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: C+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Lesson Four: Strap It Back

Trump Wisdom of the Week: "Maximize potential." See, a good leader has to be able to recognize the strengths and weaknesses of his or her employees. A leader has to know who is really strong, where -- and if they don't do it, it's not going to work out very well for the team or the leader. Trump addresses a seminar or something: "…So get the best people -- and watch them!" They all laugh and cheer this brilliance like there are snipers.

Josh gives them Excel this weird presentation about this little boy who looks into a cup, and then Ginny the Nightmare Genie comes floating out. Adam is really damn excited about the jingle they're going to be writing, and then there's lots of embarrassing singing from Brian and Josh, and if you've ever read a recap by Jacob before, you know that's my total Kryptonite. I hate, hate, hate watching people sing. Like normal people, like people like these. People in suits. It's like getting my eyeballs propped open and being forced to watch Kids, As Good As It Gets, the end of Blair Witch, American History X, Requiem For A Dream, Se7en, Deliverance, Saw, those four scenes in The Silence Of The Lambs, Happiness, the tongue part of Midnight Express, Irréversible, and Misery, all at once, just those parts on a loop, for ten whole horrible years. Whilst eating a beet-and-Vegemite stew. It makes me incredibly anxious. But most especially when Adam starts singing, because...man. He sings this incredibly long, detailed, excited jingle, and it's pretty much exactly like that guy in The Fisher King, and after naming every movie I can think of, apparently, I dissolve into a puddle of embarrassment on the floor.

Almost as troubling is what happens next. Heading back to the home conference room, Felisha's acting all tough, all, "She's gonna do it, because I'm the PM and her boss." Alla goes, "I don't think she will," and it's hilarious. Felisha interviews that "Toral is going to be in the costume, end of story, that's how it's going to be," and it's very cute and misguided. Kristi's like, "Toral! Step up!" and Toral starts talking about how there are clearly other people that want to do it, and blah blah blah and Kristi shrieks, "THEY ARE MORE VITAL IN THE PRESENTATION THAN YOU!" Felisha tries to explain that it's not that anyone would rather do it, because they all hate her equally, it's more that "they're hearing your response, and trying to step up to the plate." Confetti comes raining down and a huge buzzer goes off because someone just said "step up" for the hundred thousand kajillion-millionth time. Toral just feels "really uncomfortable" about it and Kristi yells, "Fine!" and mumbles something. Rebecca looks horrified, and Felisha tells Kristi, "Stop." It's pretty cool.

Felisha turns to Toral like the rooster's about to crow for a third time: "Are you telling me that even if I say, 'Toral, this is your responsibility,' you're not doing it? Just be clear." Alla stares, and flexes her claws. Toral is so close to the edge and all it will take is a tiny...little... Somebody asks, kind of desperately, Why? Toral doesn't want to embarrass her future employers, or her family. Jennifer's awesome: "They're not even going to know you're in there, Toral. God." Alla then asks two very excellent questions: "So if I do it, I should be embarrassed?" Which, that's actually the point, because she assumes she's way better than anyone, but especially Team Capital Edge. Question Two: "If we have a construction project and we have to, like, clean up toilets, will your family find that embarrassing?" Cut to Rebecca, with her intensity at full burn. Toral's like, "No, that's different." They all wonder aloud: How? I know that the Bloven is sometimes difficult to take, and they're doing all of this to be bitches, but...every single thing they've said, every issue they've raised, is completely on target, and smart, and I am completely and totally on their side. She's being ridiculous. ["They're also undercutting their points by repeating them. She's not doing it, Felisha, because she sucks; asked and answered. Sideline her promptly and without further comment and move on to the next thing, or it makes you look petty." -- Sars]

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19Next

Apprentice

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP