Apprentice
Ice Escapades

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Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Water, water, everywhere, and yet it costs a lot

Previously on Numbskull Fracture: Protégé apprentice-napped Amy away from VersaCorp to even the numbers. The building everyone was standing in when the task was assigned had had just about enough of Assorama, and flung a chunk of drywall at her head. The other buildings raised their roofs in approval. Assorama proceeded to spend the rest of the hour putting the "hype" in "hypochondriac." For those not suffering from life-threatening paperboard injuries, the task was to renovate and rent out an apartment, and when it came time to battle for the best location, Katrina had her Miami Heat handed to her by a plucky Idaho spud. She almost -- but not quite -- called the police to report that he had stolen her apartment, but at the last minute, she realized that the police probably don't believe in "firsties." Thanks in part to Troy's mad scheming, Protégé took the prize, and VersaCorp went to the Boardroom under the "leadership" of Katrina. She took Boyfriend Bill and Tammy with her, and when Tammy made the mistake of truthfully stating that her team was "duped," Donald found her disloyalty so "obnoxious" that he fired her. It was totally disloyalty, and not at all the fact that she's a total loony with fewer social skills than a poorly-trained Great Dane. And in news that I just didn't know what to do with, Heidi's mom got cancer. Who will be fired this week?

Credits. Wait, you're telling me Donald Trump is on this show? Why didn't they say something?

S4. Aspiring Corporate Weasel Death Watch. Troy is wearing a gray zip-up sweat-jacket and his big black cowboy hat, and that's just not working for me. It's a little too "git along, little joggers" for me, I think. The group reviews who's among the threatened -- Katrina, Tammy, and Boyfriend Bill. "I was surprised that it got so heated," Nick comments. "It was bad for the team." Ereka interviews that she was just so nervous, because she was really afraid that her white quilted shirt (she bought it for the Chanel label, only to find out it actually said "Charmin") would turn out to be a joke someone played on her. No, not really -- she was nervous because she badly wanted Tammy to be Trumped and her bestest friend Katrina to stay forever and ever so they could shop for prom dresses and have their nails done and try out their first names with their boyfriends' last names and EEEEEEEE! When Boyfriend Bill and Katrina come in at last, no one is remotely surprised, but Ereka is still all happy and fist-pumping and "yaaaay!" about it. She literally squeaks. "Rrrreeeeeeeeeeek!" She's the cheerleader at the first annual Social Caste System Super-Mega-Smackdown. There are hugs all around. "Down to nine," Troy says to a passing Kwame. "Game time right here."

VersaCorp has a meeting upstairs in the bedroom. Katrina blathers meaninglessly that she feels "like a guest." I don't know where to begin. Uh, in the room? In the suite? On the show? On the planet? Oddly, the last one is the only one where she seems not to fit in...is that a paradox? Boyfriend Bill says that he was "fighting for [his] life," and Ereka tries to get out of the situation, saying, "There was never any intent to put you on the hot seat." Not buying her crap, he says, "But it -- it happened." She has nothing to say to this, because other than crap, she has nothing else for sale. Well, nothing but her dignity, I suppose. Bill interviews that in the Boardroom, Ereka and Katrina ganged up on him -- and from the rest of this episode, I have to think there was more of that than we saw, because we didn't see all that much of Ereka doing anything to him, but it seems like she did. He goes on to say that the ganging up "was unnecessary, and [he] didn't do anything to deserve it." There are some pleasantries back in the bedroom meeting, but things are very tense, because we're getting down to the point where you need to establish yourself a little more and not try to be all "team player" about it, lest you find that you are the last rat off of the sinking ship of fools. "They did it to me once," Bill says in his interview, "and I'm not going to let it happen to me twice -- I mean, screw me once, shame on you, screw me twice, shame on me." You know, Boyfriend Bill, if the people really love each other, there doesn't have to be any shame. Just saying.

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Apprentice

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