Ice Escapades

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
Water, water, everywhere, and yet it costs a lot

High energy wakes us up for the next morning's antics. The first thing we see is Assorama and Kwame (oh, poor Kwame, all with the babysitting duties all of a sudden) visiting some salon or something where they're theoretically trying to sell water. When they get inside, though, Assorama decides to break the ice by asking how her makeup is. This leads to a consultation in which she brags that she got gloss put on her lips, highlight color on her brows, and extra "rouge." Rouge? Wow, remember to put it back in grandma's purse when you're done with it. In her post-meeting interview, she crows, "As you can see, he gave me a new look, and we sold two cases of water!" Two cases. Again with the fifteen bucks. I'm not sure how much business Assorama knows, but it's not very good productivity to send two people for an hour to get a fifteen-dollar sale. Not even if the fifteen dollars was pure profit.

Elsewhere, Troy, Heidi, and Amy are in a cab together when he suddenly says, "Oh my God, we're missing the boat." He goes on to explain to her that they don't have to just sell one bunch of cases. They can sell a series of cases over a period of time -- so many cases a week for several weeks, for instance. He calls this his "moment of clarity" in an interview. Eh, "moment of clarity," "end of stupidity"'s a fine line. At the next place, Troy talks the guy into twenty-five cases a week for four weeks to give it a try. "That works out," the guy says. The next guy will take four pallets, but he wants them at the truckload price. Troy says that it will have to be five pallets. "That is givin' a little bit both ways," he says. Amy admits here that Troy is "a much smarter guy" than she had originally suspected, and then we see the customer go with the five pallets. "Sure, I don't want to appear completely inflexible," and the guy laughs, and Troy laughs, and this, again, is the quality that Troy has that makes him a good sales guy. And, I would add, makes me fear him profusely. Amy goes on to say that Troy can "adapt," and that he "reads people well." "I commend him for it," she says, "because I think he's doing a damn good job."

Elsewhere, Nick and Katrina can't get a signal on the Space Communicator. Hmm, I think that's a sign, perhaps. "This is showtime," Nick voices over as they approach the appointment. "This is what I do for a living. This is my knitting, if you will. I sell things. I'm phenomenal at it." Oh, God. Nick is Random Uses Of "If You Will" Make Me Sound Appealingly Quirky Guy! I hate That Guy! ["So do I -- and his cousin, Random Uses Of '…And Whatnot' Guy." -- Sars] He goes on to say that "most of the people" involved in all of this have underestimated him. Yes, yes, Nick, you're underappreciated. "I said, 'Hop on this back,'" Nick interviews, "'I'm taking us to the promised land.'" Mm-hmm. It appears to me that the guy he's talking to is indeed the ABC Office Essentials guy, and when he asks how you buy the product, Nick tells him that they'd like to sell him a truckload of it. The guy's face says exactly the following: "Uh." Nick shows the guy the truckload special, but it's pretty clear the guy can't take a truckload. Katrina snots that when clients notice that you're interested in making money and not in their best interests, you lose the deal. Oh, come on. As if a business person thinks that your reason for selling them something is as a favor to them? Please. Nick is off-putting, but that is totally not why. Nick asks the guy if he'll buy a pallet. Nope. A case? Nope. Not interested. And kind of an ass about it, too. You know, one thing I did read on the ABC Office Essentials site is that they've worked with Burnett before on The Restaurant, and I'll tell you this: I think the guy's being an asshole just to be an asshole, because he wants to be good television. It struck me when I watched it that he was being a little too gratuitously rude, and that's what I now suspect. He's just too snotty to them. I think it's something of a put-on. Or else a little bit of Rocco rubbed off on him.

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