Apprentice
I'm Going To Mop the Floor With You

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: C- | Grade It Now!
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Condescendin' the Clowns

The next morning, the men present first. Lou introduces the video -- which you can see in full here -- quite charismatically (but also quickly, which is important). He only has a few lines before a more intelligible actress delivers the important information as Lou shimmies and thrusts the mop behind her. The O-Cedar execs and Eric seem genuinely amused by the video. Clay says that Lou has been singled out as the weakest team member every week thus far but thinks Lou turned it around this week.

The ladies of Forte head inside to present. Tia delivers a brief intro before Aubrey and Debbie perform their cheeseball skit into which they're praying can jam all the information about the mop that clearly won't be in their overly clever video. The executives are still smiling as they introduce the video "that actually makes a mop look hot" (uh, gross?). It's a lot of quick cuts, mugging from Aubrey, Patricia screaming like a maniac in Spanish ("¡Mucho! ¡Sessanta y ocho!" [Translation: 78]), and general discomfort. Though Eric continues to smile, the O-Cedar folks lose their excitement. The lady's face fades, and the guy actually cocks his head to the side. The ladies seem to get back the audience when the video transitions to the mop's specs (read in rapid semi-monotone like the side effects of a prescription drug). They give a hearty round of applause as Forte leaves.

Overall impressions: The women were "very personable and adorable," but the product wasn't the hero. The men didn't have enough star power, though they displayed the mop's features better. But was it too much like a traditional commercial to succeed as a viral video? TBA...

Boardroom. Unsurprisingly, Lou thinks his team won. Did he feel supported? Yes. Trump turns to Dee, who makes a bit of a misstep when he leads with Lou's "handicap." Lou takes umbrage at this word, preferring the term "disability." He insists he doesn't hide behind his disability but appreciates that guys generally respect that he needs a little more patience because of his hearing issues. Trump asks Paul how he thinks Lou did. Paul says matter-of-factly that Lou was the star. Trump appreciates Lou's heretofore scrappy-to-the-point-of-shitting-on-his-teammates competitive spirit. Clay says Lou blew him away with his commitment, particularly during the dancing segments. Somehow, talk of Lou's arthritis prompts Trump to go on an anti-exercise tirade that concludes, "And Trump keeps chugging along." (That was very nearly my recap title.)

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Apprentice

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