Apprentice
Intellectual Horsepower (1)

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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Kelly and Jen, sitting in a tree

But there is no shutting the Crusading Jennifer Yap. She starts to talk about how she knows all about Trump's company, and pulls out the one fact she has at her disposal, which is the number of employees Trump has, which she waves around and demonstrates that Sandy doesn't know. And granted, it would have been great if Sandy had known, but honestly, that's such a suck-up move at this point that it doesn't impress me all that much. That, again, is an example of how Jen uses tactical BS in the Boardroom to compensate for the fact that she doesn't do a damn thing, and everyone knows it. If Jen could win on performance, she wouldn't need stunts like that, and she wouldn't need to be such a jerk all the time. When she starts haranguing Sandy in this enormously patronizing way about how Sandy doesn't even know what she's getting into, Sandy points out that she owns two companies, because she took the risk at 21 of opening a business at which she's been very successful, and that she's proved herself a bunch of times in her career, and in the tasks in the competition. When Jen jumps in to talk about her own business experience, Sandy makes the misstep of saying Jen isn't in a business where "the bottom line matters to [her]," and that's certainly not true, because big law firms are basically just like cardboard box factories, in that you produce a certain number of boxes for a certain amount of money, and then you go home. For the first several years, most associates are not exactly flexing their intellectual muscles -- they're making boxes, and they're punching a clock, and that's the story of big firm life as it has been described to me by everyone I know who's ever done it. ["Jen's firm goes bankrupt, Jen isn't on the hook for it. Sandy's firm goes bankrupt, Sandy goes to work at the Gap. Sandy's point stands, as far as I'm concerned." -- Sars] Jen makes this point in a more glamorous way about how she's "profitable," which I'm sure is also true.

And then Jen brings out this lovely comment: "Mr. Trump, your deals involve financial and regulatory complexity. Sandy simply does not have the intellectual horsepower to manage --" This is a bit too much insanely patronizing bullshit for Sandy, who points out that she makes business decisions in her own business every day -- and I feel for her, but I also would say they're not quite the same kinds of decisions. Of course, the person who gets this job isn't doing any of that anyway, but is doing a year of public appearances and interviews in Us magazine, so it really doesn't make a damn bit of difference. But just in case it does, Jen comes back with an even more patronizing tone as she says, "Sandy, I don't want to -- I'm not going to insult you, but I will tell you, Mr. Trump, that I am at a much higher level than Sandy is. I can handle very complicated transactions." Sandy comments that that's very interesting, considering Jen hasn't even done anything on the less than "very complicated" tasks they've actually had in the last 13 weeks. Jen starts to defend herself, but clearly can't think of anything right away, so she starts saying, "Mr. Trump, Mr. Trump, Mr. Trump," while she tries to come up with something. They bicker for a bit, and Jen starts to bitch about how Sandy "discounts the value of education," to which Sandy says, "I chose a different path," and Jen snaps back in her most accusatory tone, "Could you have, Sandy? Could you have?" "Absolutely," Sandy says. "I don't believe that," Jen snorts. (Of course, Jen's not going to insult her.) "I had a 3.8, I was in the business school," Sandy says, while Jen continues to say, "I don't believe that." And then, as Sandy rattles off a perfectly adequate college record, Jen switches to, "Then why did you drop out? Why did you drop out? Do you think it's a good business decision to drop out of school?" Which is pretty dick, because Sandy's business is apparently quite successful, and as much as people who go to college like to believe that you can't be successful unless you do that, it's pretty much a crock, and if you ask me, the person here who is insecure about her background isn't Sandy, it's Jen. That's why Jen keeps having to say "dropped out of school" and "higher level" and "intellectual horsepower." Because she hasn't done anything, and Sandy has, and Jen doesn't know how to deal with being in a room with someone who hasn't made the same choices she has but has come to a place in her life where she's more independent than Jen, probably has more control over her own career than Jen, probably has a shitload more fun than Jen, and is a much, much more pleasant and well-liked human being than Jen. So Jen has to screech at her that she never finished college, because that's just the way some people are.

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