Into The Stretch (2)

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
Games of the video and Olympic varieties

Just then, a guy in the arena stops Chris and asks who's in charge of the pool area. Chris, with the same combination of regret and glee with which he will report all problems throughout this task, tells the guy that the answer is that nobody is in charge, because Tana hasn't given that responsibility to anyone. Chris tracks down Tana and asks who's going to be "orchestrating the actual flow of everything." Tana just says she's in charge of the governor, Bruce Jenner, and the athletes. Literally, Tana's answer is, "I'm wrangling the famous people." Chris tells her that she needs to assign somebody to do some logistics, because there's a lot of detail going overlooked. He interviews that Tana hasn't delegated nearly enough responsibility on specific things. Interestingly, Chris vows that he really does want the event to be good and he wants Tana to win. And I think at this early stage, it might have even been true.

Governor Pataki's guy, Vinnie, shows up and is introduced to Tana. Your basic political handler, he tells her in no uncertain terms that he wants a line-by-line schedule of the governor's responsibilities. Tana tells Vinnie that there's no program yet, and apparently the program is the only thing she intends to give him -- there's no special set of instructions for the governor. Stupid! She could get that from the computer in 30 seconds. She's just not getting that this isn't a favor they're asking for -- it's an expectation Vinnie is setting. But Tana doesn't read the power in the situation well at all. In fact, I would venture to say I've seen more perceptiveness out of mounted deer heads. Vinnie doesn't look very happy, but he does walk off, finally.

A bit later, Tana runs into another person from NYC2012 who tells her that the governor's office says they need the schedule. Tana barely pauses to look at her and just snots, "I haven't received it yet from printing. I told him I'd get it to him as soon as it was here, and it's not here yet." Tana does not get it, that's for sure. She stomps off with a bunch of balloons, because she is seriously, entirely dumb. Tana then collides with NYC2012 Amy (as opposed to PlayStation Amy, currently so happy with Kendra), who tells Tana that there's a stack of banners sitting unhung. "I talked to Chris -- you should be the one talking to Chris." We now see an entire montage of Tana being confronted with logistical questions that she apparently doesn't have answers for. She complains in an interview that it's all been "a catastrophe," because -- get this -- the people who are stopping her don't want to tell her she has "beautiful blue eyes," or borrow a lipstick. You won't believe this, but she actually gets huffy about the fact that nobody is paying her any compliments. The thought that this might mean she isn't earning any compliments apparently does not strike her, let alone fill her with terror, as it should.

Vinnie has caught up with Tana again, and she tells him that she's running behind, but she'll "get on the horn," presumably to get the schedule worked out, although possibly to call in a different pitcher. Seriously. "Get on the horn"? At any rate, Vinnie is increasingly pissed. "Well," Vinnie says with irritation, "he's just sitting around." Tana doesn't get it at all, once again, and chirps, "I'm sorry, does he want a donut or a cup of coffee?" Vinnie can't believe what a knucklehead she is. "No, he's interested in getting into the event," he says impatiently. Just then, Tana runs into Amy again, and Amy immediately tells her there is a serious problem. Amy hands her the program, and Tana sees that in putting together the athlete bios, Kristen just dumped in a bunch of information about the athletes that's not supposed to be public. It doesn't look like it's scandalous information, just sort of blunt assessments of who's who, personality-wise. So Tana has to go out to the front table and immediately pull back all the programs. As Amy explains, it's about five minutes to the event, and apparently, nobody ever bothered to proofread the program. Nice! She says that things appear at this point to be "completely out of control." And also? The program smells like feet. Okay, not.

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