Into The Stretch (2)

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
Games of the video and Olympic varieties

Tana runs into Vinnie once again, and once again, he says, "The governor's outside, and he's just waiting." "That's fine," Tana says, in this "Calm down, Vinnie, it's all covered" way, and then Vinnie walks away from her, saying ominously, "No, it's not." Tana jumps now, startled by his sharp tone, and says, "What do I need to do, then? I'm sorry!" Dude, he's told you like a billion times what you need to do. The fact that you haven't done it is no one's fault but yours. She looks unhappy. She deserves it.

And now, arriving at Chelsea Piers, we see Donald Trump himself in his giant limo. He's in the middle of blowing off some unimportant person, one of 114 insignificant and non-yooge morons he will be yelling at today, and then he steps out and heads inside. Meanwhile, inside, Tana is herding a bunch of kids who are apparently part of the big show. Trump then makes his way to Pataki, and let me tell you, that is a meeting of some disastrous hair right there. That is two men who have been taught to do their hair by people who don't like them very much. They shake hands. Pataki says he certainly hopes they get the Olympics to New York. (Actual People From New York Who Do Not Own Hotels Or Souvenir Shops: "NO!") Tana comes over to Trump and the governor and fawns over Trump and how great it is to see him before she addresses the governor, to whom she finally does bother introducing herself. We watch as some of the athletes come over to greet Trump, and then Bruce Jenner is there, and he looks so creepy these days, I can't stand it. Talk about House of Wax. Tana explains that Jenner is her emcee for the event. He belongs to her. He is hers. Bruce Jenner is all hers, just for today! Pataki introduces Trump to Justin Gatlin, because it's always fun for people with real abilities to meet people who pretend they have real abilities. Also there are Michael Phelps, Nadia Comaneci, and so forth. I still think Nadia and Bart Conner is the weirdest marriage ever. Because...isn't he a Smurf? Anyway. Tana is feeling the oats of ownership again, saying, "All my athletes, behind the blue curtain please!" Oy. She takes Pataki off to the side, since he's been given no indication of what's going on, which busy people just love, and then she tells him that she doesn't think she needs to prep him -- a statement she makes just as he asks her what he's going to be doing. Ouch.

Tana takes Pataki over to where a group of kids are standing with the world flags, getting ready for a processional. Pataki wants to go with the kid holding the American flag, but it turns out the one he thinks is the American flag is Puerto Rico. Heh. Tana learns from someone else that Pataki is looking for the American flag, and guess what? There isn't one. Just then, someone else calls out to Tana to find out how things are going, and Tana explains that she's looking for an American flag. "Do you know where one is, by chance?" she asks. Oh, sheesh. They point out one that's hanging, but Tana ignores that one. "If it can't come, show's got to go on!" she chirps. Because who cares what the governor wants, right? I swear, just take the damn flag down, Tana. It wouldn't be that tough. Anyway, Carolyn observes all this with great disbelief. My impression is that Tana is not making a great impression on Carolyn.

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