Apprentice
Into The Stretch (2)

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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Games of the video and Olympic varieties

Team Tana is getting ready to leave. She wears her fakey-face as she tells the team that she's so grateful for everything they did. They look at her with hate. "Hopefully it came through," she says, "and if it didn't, it wasn't my destiny." As they leave, Tana interviews that there was no need for them all to leave together. No, she prefers to stay behind, and gives some weirdo speech about how it's best to let employees leave so they feel like employees or something. And...what? Seriously, what? I mean, she's talking about how she's going to stay back "like an executive," and I'm just entirely confused. "The reality is, I did this on my own," she says. "There was no love." Oh, and Tana is taking home a bowl of pretzels, which she refers to as "bitches." Just take my word for it and don't ask questions. Pretzels are "bitches." It's this thing. She gets to the exit, carefully waits until Brian and Chris get into the SUV, and then heads out and gets into her big-girl car, which apparently makes her feel awesome. In the car, she repeats that the event "could not have gone any better." Unless there were programs, I guess. And unless the governor didn't hate her. But totally, other than that. She also says that she thinks it's "a done deal," getting the job. She makes some twee reference to leaving Iowa with her family, and man alive, I am sick of her. She went downhill faster than anybody, like, ever.

Back at Webster Hall, the EA guy comes to Kendra. "I'm very serious about this," he says. "I don't know if you want to work in the videogame industry, but if you ever did, we'd love to hire you." Kendra laughs with delight. "We really appreciate all the work you did for us." He congratulates her, and she goes out to the sidewalk to say goodbye to her team. She and Erin hug. "You know, you should be so happy," Erin tells her. They have a group hug. "You were great," Danny tells her. "I am so proud of everybody," she says, and you can now see that she's actually crying. "We just wanted you to win, baby," Danny says, and I kind of believe him. Kendra is still boo-hooing in her interview, which is kind of cute, as she explains that it meant a lot to her to have her team say they were proud of her. "It's flattering in a way that I just can't really express." I...I don't know. I can't recap sincerity; I've been watching reality shows for so long that I'm out of practice.

There is more hugging, and then they all tuck Kendra into the car, with even goofball Michael making the very sweet gesture of kissing his hand and plastering it to her forehead. Danny closes the door, and Kendra immediately puts her hand over her heart in that "oh, that was so sweet, I may die" gesture that you kind of can't fake. The team blows kisses as she leaves. You know, it's true that Kendra got much more tolerable human beings on her team than Tana did. But it's also true that Kendra didn't go into the task calling them "The Three Stooges," and she certainly could have. In the limo, she reflects, saying that she's had differences with all the people who were on her team, but she's forgotten all about them. She also gives them credit for the fact that they really didn't have anything to gain by being awesome to her and working hard. "I almost forgot what it was like to work with people who believed in me," she says simply. She does not add, "Craig," although she wants to.

Love Palace. Kendra comes home and finds Tana already there. They hug, and Tana, able to see that Kendra is kind of wrung out, is all giggly, going, "Should we cry together?" "I've already been crying," Kendra says. Tana, delighted, says, "About what?" And you can tell she's anticipating some story of horror and misery. "They were so...great," Kendra says, and the look on Tana's face is absolutely priceless. She's shocked and horrified and absolutely fucking infuriated at this news. She is. It only flashes on her face for a second, but you can see it, and it is a beautiful thing. Tana tells Kendra how lucky she is, because Tana's team sucked. "They were great at it," Kendra says, awed. "Oh, that's good," Tana Mary-Kays through clenched teeth. "I didn't have that experience!" Kendra: "I didn't say they were organized. But they were passionate." Hee. Remember, Kendra's team didn't do everything right. Danny made a freaking mess out of a presentation that almost got her off on a very bad foot with the sponsors. But she didn't dwell on it, and that's really the difference. Tana interviews that of course, she was hoping to hear Kendra say her event was a disaster. Back in the L-Pal, Kendra mentions to Tana that it seemed like she was really giving her team what-for that morning in the suite. "I had fucking had it," Tana says. And then Tana returns to her interview in which she says that it seemed like Kendra's team was better, and -- more to the point -- really "wanted to help Kendra." Gee, I wonder why you didn't get any of that. Because I sure would want to help you, you swell lady.

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