Apprentice
Apprentice

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: C+ | 706 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Lesson Seven: Speak My Language

Everybody runs around like when you stomp on an anthill, while at Synergy, the execs are arriving with Carolyn and Bill. Michael threatens to "go through [their] vision with" the executives, and they all wish they were wearing more comfortable shoes, because this is going to take a fuckin' year. He shows them a branded sign outside the room that says, "The Lounge," and talks about it for a million years, and then describes how the room is interactive and how there are lots of activities, but you never feel cut off from everybody else. There's a large-screen TV, with video games that are all "teamwork-based," areas to socialize over karaoke and a drum kit, and a place where "girls" can "relax and enjoy their time." This time, it comes off a lot weirder, like he has no idea what girls "do" when they recreate. There's a board game area which, again, stresses teamwork. Sean and Andrea watch and watch and watch as Michael talks about how kids should have options, and not all "necessarily like the same thing," and then they bring in a bunch of kids. Who have a pretty time, playing with all the crap, as Carolyn and Bill laugh and interact with Andrea's fake-fake tree. One little girl tells them they did a great job, and the executives thank them and quickly leave before Michael starts talking again.

Over at GR, Lenny wishes the execs a good afternoon, and then Lee points out a stage, with the drum kits and karaoke machine. They check out the black-and-white checked dance floor, and the folding chairs where people can watch all the interactive performing going on. The GR room looks fantastic, by the way, half checkered tiles and half glossy black. They point out the headphones on the drum kit, to keep the noise level down, and Lenny says he hopes they "create a beautiful place for" the B&GC kids. They bring in the test group of children, and the kids go nuts about how awesome everything looks, which makes Lenny super-happy. It's nice. Tarek and Charmaine giggle and the kids totally rock out and it's heartwarming, but the executives make strange faces that I can't read. Lee interviews, "I really think we have a win," signifying that they are going to lose, and throws his arm across Lenny's shoulders, signifying that one or both of them is getting cobra'd.

The executives are seated behind a table as the teams file in for judgment. They conference Trump in, and say that Synergy understood "the core areas" of the Boys & Girls Club, and props to Andrea for rolling her eyes when they mention how there's even a "space where a girl can just be a girl." (Like, seriously, what does that mean? Horse figurines? Tampons? Betsy Wetsies? Posters of Orlando Bloom? Fucking fairy wings and toe shoes? Pretend stovetops and vacuum cleaners and long strands of pearls? A drawer chock-full of scratch paper and little Ikea pencils so they can write mean notes about each other. Jeweler's loupes and laminated reminder cards about the Four C's. The My First Brazilian kit with the strawberry-scented wax. A bone china tea set and a stripper pole. A jumbo bucket of clitorises. Applications for Wellesley, Bryn Mawr, and Smith. ["Note also that a boy does not need a space to 'just be a boy,' because for a boy, that 'space' is called 'the world.'" -- Sars]) The executives make an implicit comparison with Lenny's room by transition: "Lots of things going on at the same time." Lenny goes, "Huh." The executives characterize the GR room as narrow, with the focus on music, and Paula says that it could be chaotic, but if they use the headphones, they're back in Game Boy world and no longer fostering teamwork. They admit that both teams did an "excellent" job, but that Synergy "hit it better." Lee is sad; Tarek is both sad and terrified. Sean interviews that Michael is wicked lucky that they won on their teamwork, and not his management.

Apprentice

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