Synergy's reward is to take a little girl with a rare kind of cancer on a Make-A-Wish shopping spree at a popular children's toy store which Trump says the name of fifteen thousand times. "Through Make-A-Wish you can grant this wish," he says, the redundancy equivalent of saying, "With OxiClean Spot Remover, you can remove spots." They are all happy about it, because the only thing that brightens up your day more than diamonds and truffles is little kids with inoperable cancer. Dasheaira is eight, very adorable, and arrives at the toy store with her mom in a limo. Every Make-A-Wish thing I've ever seen, they really get it done, with the limos and the people in costumes and stuff. That's so wonderful. Mom tells us that Dasheaira is like the second kid ever to have this kind of cancer in America, and it's rough, but this show isn't about that kind of thing, so we cut quickly to piles and piles of toys, consumption, shiny packaging and costumer service, merchandise accumulating with the speed of acquisition. An out-of-work actor in a king costume lurks around. Dasheaira's mom is so cute. So are the Toys R Us employees. Trump arrives and he's all, "Is that it? No way! Keep picking stuff!" Everybody laughs, and for once it's not because he's Donald Trump, but in fact because he's being adorable. Trump's good with kids, and it's not taking anything away from that wonderful fact to note that: of course he fucking is.
Episode Report CardJacob Clifton: C+ | 710 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT