The task: create a jingle for Donald Trump's suddenly-favorite fast food restaurant's new "natural" chicken sandwich. Synergy PM Sean continues to be Felisha with an accent, exclaiming over-excitedly about everything that happens throughout his day, and manages to shepherd his team to a win before getting embroiled in a seriously embarrassing drunken flirt-fest with Allie and Roxanne which flatters no one concerned, and squicks out everybody else. Gold Rush PM Bryce...loses his damn mind. He begins by ignoring Charmaine's meeting time with the executives, getting his team there a half-hour late and then explaining to the pissed execs that it's Charmaine's fault. He and the rest of the team -- less Lee, who's observing Yom Kippur -- douche around while Charmaine and Leslie come up with a boring and repetitive Andrews Sisters pastiche. The entire time, he tries to live out his imaginative scenario of bringing the team together through group therapy, but nobody else will cooperate. They all talk a good game; Charmaine weeps with emotion several times.
In the Boardroom, Charmaine continues to avoid all responsibility for her lack of creativity, and everybody forgets that Leslie exists some more, and then Bryce decides to bring back Lenny, for being Russian, and Lee, for being Jewish. Everyone is horrified except for Tarek, who's just happy to be safe for the week now that his self-importance has blossomed into full-blown paranoid egocentrism. ("The reason everybody hates me is that I am perfect! I wish that I could scar my face! And my Mensa certificate! Why do people hate me? It's so hard being the best!") Bryce then spends the last fifteen minutes of the episode screaming: brow-beating Trump into firing him, vociferously defending his two chosen competitors, calling himself out for bringing them back, and getting bratty and snotty with Trump in any number of creative ways. At one point Carolyn actually says, aloud: "Just say, 'Fire me, Mr. Trump.'" Which he basically does, over and over, while Trump is attempting to speak. Admittedly, Trump is saying nothing of import, but it's still quite incredible and bizarre. Bill almost throws up at one point because it's so unprofessional and weird, and Trump finally fires Bryce's ill-thought-out ass. Bill and Carolyn giggle about what a loser he is, and in the Crazy Taxi, Bryce gets snotty some more about a variety of subjects, ending on the fact that Trump would be better served by letting Bryce condescend and interrupt him a little more often, and is a moron for not doing so. Jackass.
Last week, remember, Trump's hate-on for Tarek was impressive in its tumescence, but ultimately the problem was Lenny's concept -- a minor quibble that even the NCL executives didn't really care about, but which loomed large in Trump's mind, which is how these decisions happen -- which, in the absence of Lenny, got Dan fired. That is still as stupid as it was last week, even though it obtained the correct result. Upstairs while this crap is going on, Charmaine and the other Weasels are talking about how ouija-weird it will be if Tarek comes back from the Boardroom for an eighteenth time. Of course, this is what happens, in a cloud of eyebrows and glitter, and Lenny greets Lee as "brother," and Leslie and Charmaine are just sick about Dan leaving. Maybe they only hate him when they're in the bathroom. Really, though, it's about hating Tarek: Charmaine interviews that he "doesn't play well with others," and that as a team, they'd be stronger with him gone. I know that she's right, but it weirds me out when the whole fucking team comes down to one person being an issue. I'd think if anything, Charmaine was more right in preceding weeks when she observed that it's the Dan-Tarek-Bryce Axis of Fratty that was the actual problem. Tarek can't suck in a vacuum, he needs hooligans to make his strange magic work. Without that, he's just...kind of a dick, and he doesn't have the performance record to make up for that.
Bryce tells Tarek to work on not pissing these girls off, because that will put him on a nonstop express to the Boardroom, where Trump's waiting to punish him with smoke coming out his nostrils. Bryce interviews intensely about how he just wants to "put it behind us tonight, before our next task." He says this in a very exasperated way, like why can't the team just get it together and be perfect grown-ups like him, and there's a general feeling of disrespect for people with personalities, seeing as how he's got along fine all these years without one. They sit down together, and he informs them that he is going to be the Project Manager this task. Lenny, Lee, and Charmaine -- also known as the people who aren't Tarek, less Leslie, who doesn't technically exist -- wonder at what's wrong with Bryce today. He orders them to get it "all" out on the table, and demands that they work it out within fifteen minutes.
Flash Quiz: You've inherited a somewhat contentious group of Type-A pretty people who all want to be the boss of everybody. First order of business:
A. Accuse them of being immature children with emotional problems and demand that they work them out within fifteen minutes because you can't be bothered.
B. Take a second to analyze the team dynamics -- including your part in them -- and figure out which issues need to be addressed tonight, post-Boardroom.
C. Write off the women, because they're just silly anyway and don't have any concerns worth worrying about.
D. Write off the Jews because they're either going to be gone or worthless, because one time the Russian one looked at you funny and then you screamed at him in the Boardroom, proving you right for all time.
E. Jump immediately to figuring out how you and Tarek are going to cope now that Dan, the only other member of your team, is gone.
F. Emulate Dan in every way -- micromanaging tasks, refusing to delegate, and only trusting Tarek with anything important -- because he's got such a great fucking track record.