Apprentice
King Of The Jingle

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Jacob Clifton: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Lesson Six: Trump's Your Momma Now

Bryce's dead eyes welcome Trump to the Boardroom, and tell Trump that they lost simply because their music wasn't as "compelling" to the executives as the Synergy tune. True enough, Pizzazz. So if the music's the problem, then that indicts Charmaine, Leslie, and Tarek? No: "Tarek came up with the melody, and I approved it." Trump: "But it was Charmaine's idea?" Charmaine and Leslie wrote the lyrics, but there was just one lyrical misstep, says Bryce, leaving out how the lyrics were so silly and repetitive that Tarek was basically asked to put lipstick on the pig of their song about chicken. Trump reminds him that the missing lyric, referencing the fact that there is no chicken in this world except that which comes from Arby's, was a pretty big part of the task. The actual task, really. Trump asks if that means, having eliminated all possible firees, Bryce means to suggest that he himself should be fired. And the mask slips: "If you're looking to hire a jingle writer, you should fire me," Bryce hisses, and while I admit it's a good line, you don't say that to Trump, and you don't do it with the hooded eyes and smoke coming out of your ears. Trump begs him, then, to explain who should be fired. Bryce says that Lenny should go, because it "comes down to who was able to contribute the least." I still -- and let me say that Lenny did a shitload to redeem himself for me in this episode, and I might kind of love him -- I still feel like the issue with managing Lenny is the same as anybody else: don't ask him to do something he cannot do, and admits that he cannot do, because it's guaranteed that there's something he can do. That's just shit management.

Lenny admits that this is a crappy feeling, and Trump asks him about which jingle was better. Lenny says he has no idea, because still nobody has explained "jingle" to him, and cracks that he is "the first Russian jingle writer" in history. Bill jumps up his ass about that, calling it a "crutch" because he's lived in America for fifteen years or whatever, and I originally agreed with Bill, both because I find Lenny to be lazy and defensive, but going back over the episode, I think it's pretty clear that Lenny actually didn't have any idea what the fuck he was doing. "We should have jingle bells"? "We should make it sound like a cell phone ringtone"? "How about the sound of a chicken?" These are not the remarks of a person who should be involved in jingle-writing. Either he's just that lazy that he was willing to go the distance and pretend the entire time, or he actually was in over his head, and I believe the latter. Trump agrees with Bill that Lenny should be more familiar with simple advertising stuff by now, and tells Lenny he's on "thin ice."

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Apprentice

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