Las Vegas, Baby!

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B- | Grade It Now!
Lesson Twelve: Go With Your Gut

Meanwhile Kristine is asking the builders at Tower II all manner of questions about materials, numbers, dollar amounts, product knowledge. While this is happening, Nicole stares stupidly into space with that stupid hardhat on and too much mascara, sucking on her cheeks. Kristine's like, "Bwuh? So she's apparently such an expert that she is just going to stand in one place and feel the answers to these questions? I don't want to go home, but Nicole's brand of 'winging it' on tasks does tend to take out better players each week, with like unerring accuracy." Kristine points out how this is the last task for them both, because the losing team will be sent home, and if they don't, fourteen minus twelve still means there's going to be a Final Four and then the finale, unless four people get fired this week. As they actually should, but whatever. Kristine laughs to the builder man and tries to get through to Nicole; no dice.

Kristine: "Builder man, I am so sorry about all the questions and product knowledge, but we learned from Mr. Trump! He never stops asking questions!" (Emphasis hers, vector Nicole.)
Nicole: "... "
Builder Man: "I acknowledge and respect your desire to know the product you'll be marketing."
Nicole: "... "
Kristine: "Oh, we're not marketing it or creating a campaign or anything, we're just creating a strange lack of video and an almost impenetrable oral presentation."
Builder Man: "Really? Because from what I heard... "
Nicole: "OH MY GOD! Remember when Tim kissed me in the pool and then I threw a fit and was rude to everyone on Arrow for hours, but then acted hurt when they didn't care I was gone!? And remember when we were on that, like, totally awesome jet?! If I ever have a baby I'm going to dip it in gold! Tim and I will have one hundred babies! I think I'm getting some split ends. I'm gonna take a nap. Do you have a buck for like a sandwich? If I throw myself down a flight of stairs, will you come sit by me in my coma? Would you cry if I died? Please say yes."
Kristine: "Wait, what were you saying?"
Builder Man: "Never mind. Get her out of here. My God."

James and Stefani hit the model unit with a videographer and photographer, and take endless pictures of the Twin Towers model and the rooms and the fixtures and the whatever. Frank's doing the same thing in what you think is a different model unit, but quickly realize is the same one. Tension! Everybody knows you can't take pictures of an object with two cameras simultaneously! That's crazy talk! You'll go blind! Frank takes his photographer guy aside and explains that James and Stefani are "the bad guys," and orders him smarmily that "we don't speak to them." James comes in and they glad-hand and basically, once again, act skeezy and unprofessional for no reason other than that they are addicted to their sickness and/or (this is closer to the truth) have somehow received the wisdom that this is how they are supposed to act, when in fact adults actively avoid acting sketchy, rather than seeking it out and taking part it in joyfully, as these two seem to be doing. I say, why wait for events to cosign for your being an asshole, so you can jump in joyfully and take the opportunity? If you're that weak and stupid and intellectually lazy, Go For It. See Nicole? She doesn't wait around for circumstances to give her the go-ahead: she's an asshole right out the gate, and look at her go! Final Four! Congratulations! Frankie ups the asshole ante by first interviewing, Nicole-esquely, that "James and Stefani are going to have some look on their faces" when he and Heidi win, because -- you sic -- "They are very two cocky individuals. When we win, I'm going to turn to them and smile." And ordinarily I'd go off on a thing about how others losing is a regrettable side effect and not a primary goal of winning, except just then is when Frank says, in re: James Sun, the following: "That kid, the little Chinee with the black spiky hair." COBRA. Are you fucking kidding me with that? Why do people invariably act like the clichés they are? I don't even have the energy're on TV, you stupid motherfucker. I fervently wanted to like you. I felt bad about things I said about you, and this? Your Korean partner in Surya-poking? Deserves this?

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