When the jet gets back to LA we're treated to a looooong, sloooooow sliiiiding of it into the warm lovely space between the other, lesser jets, and everybody's really tired, and feeling really trashy about being on this show, except for Frank, who is trash on a level yet undiscovered. Kristine -- and the skin issue is looking really painful, to the point that I feel bad about joking around about it, because that looks like hell to deal with and still look that good all the time -- explains the task some more, I assume under the assumption that we just spent the entire commercial break cursing Frank's stupid racist ass. Nicole screeches at her about how she has the "whole presentation in [her] head" and so the inside of her head, "that's the presentation," which is, of course, the most "huge" part of the deal for them. Kristine's like, "But see, that's why I am curious about what the presentation is. Because it's huge and important." Nicole honks and squeals and growls and barks and co-co-co-rico about how the video doesn't matter, the plan and theme don't matter, all that matters is selling, the presentation, how "you have to YELL." The irony.
The irony that the one thing that makes all people in the world ignore her stupid ass results not only in her yelling even louder, but that she thinks it's some kind of hidden judo magic skill that makes people buy things. SCREAMING LIKE AN IDIOT IS NOT A SALES TACTIC. IT IS SALES TERRORISM. Nicole interviews that if she just "says everything" and "really shows passion," that that's what it will come down to: if she puts the focus on SCREAMING HER STUPID ASS OFF ABOUT NOTHING, then Kristine -- the bitch -- can do whatever the hell she wants, such as actually working. She starts with the pitch at Kristine in the van, who's slowly pooling sideways against the glass in the attempt to get away from the horrid sound: "Who doesn't want money in their pocket?" So you're selling shitty "luxury" condos to Donald Trump, is your strategy. Don't they get like a big fat folder or something, maybe a brief -- didn't we used to see those every season? That explains the fucking task in super crazy detail? Do they not get those anymore? Or am I confused about the task itself?
Anyway. So if you're listening, what Nicole has just told you is that she has already done all the work for this task that she needs to do, merely by existing. I'm not exaggerating like normal because I hate Nicole: this is the real shit. Her part of the promotional campaign is to stand at the front of the room and scream. About whatever pops into her head, of which Kristine does not need to be notified ahead of time. That's the part she's tasked herself with: to stand, and to scream, and to do this so very well that it will equal the part where Kristine's doing all the work, by Nicole's own admission. I want to write down on a piece of scratch paper everything that you've seen with your own eyeballs Nicole doing. I remember her screaming about the roller skates, and I remember her wearing a bathing suit, chillingly enough, and I remember her running around like a cartoon overbite. There was a hairnet one time, I remember that. She followed Tim to sell honey at gas stations and screamed at him about their love while standing near a toilet, with rose petals. I don't think she's stupid and I don't think she's particularly lazy -- in the task sense -- but I'm having trouble remembering anything that happened period, Nicole-related or not, so I'm asking you: my memory is faulty. Can you fill in the blanks here? Because what she just said is: "My part of this task will be that I am magic."