Apprentice
Las Vegas, Baby!

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Jacob Clifton: B- | Grade It Now!
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Lesson Twelve: Go With Your Gut

Heidi: "Okay, the second half of that complex sentence that could use some editing is this: I want Frank to know I'm not saying this because I'm in the same situation you put me in every week, where you dick me around mercilessly because you know you could never possess me no matter how many times I fucked you or how much you paid me, which is zero in both cases because you don't even know how much ladder there is between you and me. I'm saying it because we share responsibility for this massive fuckup, but the reasons have to do with cheeseburgers and Proust and Dostoyevsky and literacy levels in the average American mindset, all of which --"
Trump: "... .Mmmmyou lost me."

Heidi: "Frank needs a lot of direction and focus. He gets off task easily. His portion of a task is not the thinking-doing part, but the doing-doing part. We should have been an awesome team."
Trump: "Who did this brochure?"
Heidi: "If you're asking who fucked it up, the answer is Frank, via me. What you're looking at was completed fifteen minutes before showtime, because he --"
Trump: "Who did this brochure?"
Heidi: "Again, if you're asking who fucked it up, both of us. If you're asking who jury-rigged the design, I'm more than happy to claim --"
Frank: "So wait, I did the brochure and the video?"
Heidi: "No, if you're asking who planned the campaign itself, which was the task, then I did everything prior to the actual finished product, which is shoddy, thanks to both of us. If you're asking who hogged the goddamn computer all night working on the video while shrieking at me to finish the brochure, then the answer is --"
Frank: "HEIDI. Who designed the BROCHURE?"
Heidi: "WE DID IT TOGETHER, YOU UNBELIEVABLE CLOD."

Don: "Who approved this novel of text?"
Heidi, wordlessly: "That motherfucker right there who made me copy/paste it at quarter of?"
Frank: "Where am I? What are you talking about? Are you my mommy?"
Heidi: "Frank pushed it on the designer this morning, because he was antsy and we didn't have any time to deal with it, because he was unable to complete the three-minute video in under ten hours. I wanted to slow down and edit it and create something of worth --"
Frank: "I pushed it? Who cares? Who wrote it?"
Heidi: "If you're asking who wrote the copy, nobody did, because this isn't copy, which you still can't understand somehow even though we went around and around on this for twelve hours. If you're asking who pulled all the facts together, that's me. But if you're asking if we collaborated on it, rather than going our separate ways like Kristine and Nicole, I'm not fucking going down that way."

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Apprentice

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