Apprentice
Apprentice

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A- | 559 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Lesson One: Don't Make People Hate You

Kristi grins smugly and a little creepily, and again -- stupidly -- looks over to Carolyn. Trump puts a stop to that with a quickness: "You should not be proud of yourself." Then she has a hard time wiping the grin off her face, because it's a grin of not pride, but relief. As smug as it looks, she's mostly relieved. Carolyn watches them leave, stunned by what she's seen, and outside, Melissa stands around looking weird.

Trump confers with the Viceroys: "We had no choice," and Carolyn's like, "By her own admission she can't work with women." There's an unspoken "Who the hell is on the show this year, anyway?" at the end there. Trump goes, "That's true," and Carolyn smiles, thinking, Duh. Kristi enters the suite and everybody cheers -- really loudly -- and in the Crazy Taxi, Melissa continues to rant about how women hate her, and how she's "too independent" for her own good, and how she'd rather be fired first than last, whatever that means, she's too nuts to bother figuring it out.

Next week, there are Lamborghinis and Josh bitches more about Markus, and Carolyn sits in Trump's big chair because she's in charge.

So what have we learned about likeability? We've learned that everyone likes a Project Manager to do things and have opinions, because it makes them feel safe. We've learned that it's possible to shut your face every now and then, even if you don't think it is. We've learned that racism and sexism are still gross, even if you're hating your own self. We've learned that ex-strippers can be brilliant at both advice and heated boardroom conversations. We've learned that running on a golf course in heels is dangerous and unpleasant, and that skin care for men is a plus. We learned that hating women is not yet actually back in vogue, here in the States. But most importantly, we've learned that a desperate need to be liked is not enough, and unless you are surrounded by idiots, is a huge freaking turnoff. Let's spend the next week putting this stuff into practice, and I guarantee, before you know it, you'll hear those perfect words you've been dying to hear.

"You're hired."

Apprentice

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