Apprentice
Apprentice

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A- | 559 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Lesson One: Don't Make People Hate You

Toral describes the situation perfectly in interview: it's possible that the general supply/demand curve they've estimated was thrown off by the cameras and business suits and blonde people, but Melissa was being so horrible about it and "couldn't stomach her." I love Toral, even as she snits that this behavior would never be tolerated in "some of the top institutions I've worked for in New York." Melissa paces around talking crazy and yelling at herself and putting on little skits, and everyone tries to shut her up. Finally Kristi slightly raises her voice: "End of discussion. Quit bickering about it." Melissa makes that frustrated face like everything's going to hell because they won't do exactly as she says.

Flash Quiz! True or False:

Playing the race card is okay even if you do it to denigrate your own heritage: Yes or No?
Passing the buck is sexy and commanding: Yes or No?
Even if you're demonstrably insane, the conversation's not over until everybody agrees with you: Yes or No?
Other people's highly-experienced and -educated opinions: Yes or No?
Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth is a role model we can all be proud of: Yes or No?
Sporting a wound in your soul a mile long that bleeds need and codependency is a great networking tactic and everybody will want to be your friend: Yes or No?

(Answers are: Obvious.)

Chris and Markus get into a discussion with the group about the duration of their class, doing the math that doing 45-minute classes will cheat them out of the revenue of one class in the day. Everyone smiles because they're trying to be nice, but this is, like, completely confusing to Markus. Josh interviews that Markus was immediately out of his depth, confused, six or seven times asking everyone to "slow down" and "be cool." Shameful oboe music starts as Markus asks if there's anything he "could, or should be doing better." Everyone looks grossed out and horrified, and Josh interviews a Stuart Smalley impression, ending with an irritated "Get some balls!"

That night, Randal's on the suite phone learning that his grandmother has passed away. After discussing the funeral awhile, he just hangs up and sits quietly with the phone, his hand to his head. He finally clears his throat and stands, trying not to cry. When he informs the group of this development, Markus kind of drapes himself across Randal for a sublimely awkward second. Randal explains that her breathing tube fell out and the nurses didn't come in time, so she suffocated. How horrible. Everyone gives him some sympathy, and the already-likeable Josh gets extra points for asking whether the grandmother was maternal or paternal. As if it matters, but that's the point. Asking for a meaningless detail, or any information at all, is a good way to snap someone out of getting depressed in situations like this.

Apprentice

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