Let's Get Physical

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B+ | 2 USERS: A-
Lesson One: Don't Make People Hate You

Jen W. asks her directly, "Why were you so negative throughout the task? Why do either other women think you're being too negative? You said it was because of your lack of respect for PM. Lousy excuse." Nice, Jen M. She tells Trump that Melissa caused "a lot of friction, drama, negativity." Melissa explains insanely that this is because Kristi "gets under her skin," but that "at the end of the day," she's learned to keep her feelings in check. First of all, wouldn't that be a coincidence. Secondly, um, no you haven't. Thirdly, you walked in here acting crazy, which means that this epiphany would have happened in the last thirty seconds. And finally, what the fuck, again, does that have to do with anything? "You kinda bug me." That's her excuse for sabotaging the entire group's effort. "I don't like ya." She's such an asshole, you guys! If she reminds you of anybody you know, just cut the tie now. Her ass is toxic.

Whatever. Trump, bored, asks Kristi for her two Boardroom people, and with exhausted, steely eyes, Kristi asks to just bring back one. The Viceroys look at Trump, quite interested to see what he'll do. (It's going to be fine, this is actually a good move even though Trump is so unpredictable about being risky or questioning his rules in the Boardroom.) He agrees, and she picks Melissa. I like that, because it makes her seem like she's willing to risk herself while keeping the whole team out of even slight danger. Everybody leaves, and outside on the couch, Kristi looks freaked. Melissa looks like she knows everything in the whole world and is a total martyr.

Carolyn tells Trump that Melissa is very, very disruptive, but that she has strong issues with the marketing. George is more succinct and less ambivalent: "The team has identified Melissa as a disruptive influence." They come in and Melissa makes some more gross faces. Carolyn seems unimpressed by everything in the world.

Melissa starts with what a good person she is, like she's on Big Brother or something. "Despite what was shown today, I am a very positive person." It's not that you're negative, it's that you're an asshole. It's kind of a code word. "I made a mistake in letting her get under my skin." Still has less than nothing to do with your bullshit, Melissa. God. Even Kristi cracks an almost-imperceptible brow at this one. "At the end of the day," Melissa says for the hundred thousandth time, "my mistakes didn't cost us the task. Hers did. Her judgment was sorely lacking…" Trump has to interrupt this now-familiar chorus to ask Kristi her position, which is that they only lost by one ticket, which Melissa could have easily gotten for them, if she'd just climbed aboard instead of ruining every meeting and action item.

Then it gets awesome.

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