Arrow comment cards: The staff was v. polite, they went out of their way to help, were very well organized, and delivered exactly what one would expect from Lexus. Those are some great comments! I love that. "You weren't a shitty knock-off of the Lexus ass-kissing that I have come to expect." Overall rating: 94%. That's a trounce. I don't care what Kinetic got, nobody gets that high. That's awesome. For them, I mean. I'm certainly not fucking rooting for them. Besides Tim, and Stefani, and James, and Frankie Suits, and I guess Nicole, I fucking HATE Arrow. Frank claps like a seal, or like a slow kid getting to see a seal for the first time, at the zoo, and Trump tells him that he hasn't won yet. "But we're proud," Frank explains exuberantly, and of course Trump has no answer for that, because he was just being a dick for no reason when he said that anyway. And Kinetic? Oh, girls: the "Sixth Sense message" didn't fit the day, today or any other day. There was a lack of activities and no opportunity to learn anything, because they forgot Heidi's USB attachment, and that it didn't "feel like Lexus." Which I always thought meant something "felt like Arrow"? I'm so confused right now. Overall: 84%. Which means that two Kinetics are going home. I hope it's fucking fabulous! And weirdly, it's going to be!
I swear to you this is what happens next. "Arrow, after creating a great promotional campaign for Lexus, you'll be spending some time with Snoop Dogg." Those words come out of Donald Trump's mouth. Kristine and Heidi are sad; I almost passed out with the fucked-up awesome weirdness of this episode right then. Derek needs a hug, also. Trump...explains how our popular perception of Snoop is that he is not "a great guy," and that he's "wild," and not "smart" or "tough" or a "businessman," and I don't think he means our perception of Snoop as a person, because I've always thought all those things were true, but this is Donald Trump, he's still getting used to the idea of black people. Think I'm lying? "In addition to being a great musician. For shizzle." FOR SHIZZLE, says DONALD TRUMP. I was like, "Did I have a stroke and the last thing I will see while I'm smelling toast is my most fantasy episode of The Apprentice? What a total fucking gyp, insofar as in addition to having a stroke, my last thing is watching an episode of mental Apprentice. On the other hand, that means I'm making out with Derek in a few minutes, and I've always liked the smell of toast." But alas, it was all an illusion: Surya's still PM, and will be a-Viceroying, and that would never happen in my dream.