Apprentice
Life In The Luxury Lane

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Lesson Seven: Sometimes The Joke Is Not On You
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously, Aimee got fired, and Trump was still thinking that Surya was a good team leader. Aimee left with snakes crawling out of her hair; back at camp Derek was very excited and interviewed that Kinetic was finally getting rid of some of the "riff-raff." Heidi's first question: did she give you the Eyes of Death? Jenn and Derek crack up, of course, because that's exactly what she did. He's then unbearably sexy performing his impression of the Eyes of Death Event for us, and compares her to The Omen. It was pretty awesome.

Later the beers come out, and Heidi, or as Jenn describes it, "the team," asks who wants to be PM. Jenn steps up, which is good, because I like her and I would like to see her do something. "If I was ever going to earn the respect of my team, that I needed to do it now." She's totally drunk telling them how proud she is to lead them; Derek explains to us that Jennifer is also riff-raff, and that he is going to be gunning for her no matter what. It's pretty intense, and I'm self-aware enough to know that if probably anybody else went all reality-bravado like this, especially in the opening credits, I would be talking about how they were a douche, but since it's Derek, I'm like, "Later, Jenn." I don't think she's riff-raff, I just think -- like the majority of her team, and actually, the whole cast -- she's better than this show.

Arrow discusses how lame it is that Surya both sucks and will be their PM forever. He disapproves of their drinking and, per Frank, thinks they're "weird." James and Tim agree that a coup is coming, one of these days, which would be like the best thing ever. After Michelle and now this episode, I'm thinking the season might be fun to watch after this point, because the crazy awesome shoe has taken this long to fall.

Rodeo Drive. Randal and Trump show up with some lady, and they talk about how Rodeo Drive is the most amazing thing in the universe, and how it's totally not fucked up to use the words "beautiful" and "shopping center" in the same adverbial phrase. It has both the finest stores and something Trump calls the "finest luxury." And speaking of luxury, that's Trump's "word of the day." My notes say: "So this should be classy." The two executive ladies with Trump, Deborah the VP Marketing and Anne who's in charge of Something Strategy, are visiting us today from beautiful Lexus, and would like to entaskenate the teams with designing a "special preferred owner experience." I was like, "This is going to be awesome," because that's one of my favorite type of tasks on this show, and is also one of the more recognizable and cool tasks we've had this season. The budget's $50K, and will be rated on "customer satisfaction," which I also love, because that means comment cards and Randal saying things like, "Product knowledge was minimal." This is not the only time I miss Carolyn, during the comment cards, but it's a biggie. I always loved how the insulted customers and their dissatisfaction would like invade her body and you could see her tensing up with how dissatisfied the comment cards were, right there in her hand like something living. "Go ahead and enjoy yourself, it's a great car," Trump says, and goes off to do whatever it is that he does.

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Apprentice

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