Apprentice
Life In The Luxury Lane

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Lesson Seven: Sometimes The Joke Is Not On You

Randal: Why did your performance lack luxury?
Jenn: I think perhaps it was the go-karts. Or the nudist magician. Both of whom were Derek's ideas.
Derek: In that they were jokes! In that I was obviously fucking with you!
Kristine: Well, I wasn't there, but I heard that these things lacked luxury, and that I am supposed to say that this is Jenn's fault...I mean, this is Jenn's fault.
Trump: Why did you brainstorm go-karts?
Derek: I was just thinking of things off the top of my head. Ideas.
Trump: Don't say that! Never do that! Brainstorming isn't about coming up with ideas from your head! You're disgusting!
Derek: WTF? Yes it is. That's like the dictionary definition of brainstorming. You're totally trying to find a reason to fire me, aren't you? Gross.

Kristine: I agree with Derek about the lack of luxury and it being Jenn's fault, but I wouldn't go so far as to agree with Derek about the definition of the term "brainstorm." Unless that would be okay, or you secretly agree with him.
Derek: I don't know shit about luxury! I'm white trash! I mean like on Mama's Family, not those people in To Kill A Mockingbird! Like the cute kind of white trash that I imagine is hilarious! I like deep fried appetizers!
Trump: WHAT?!?! WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? WHAT DOES WHITE TRASH MEAN? DON'T SAY WHITE TRASH IN THIS ROOM! I AM NOUVEAU RICHE WITH NO SENSE OF ELEGANCE OR CLASSIC STYLE! HAVE YOU SEEN MY SURROUNDINGS? I AM THE DEFINITION OF WHITE TRASH WITH MONEY! HOW DARE YOU! THAT IS A STINKIN' STATEMENT!
Randal: That doesn't sound flattering, but like, you're a total racist, what do you care?
Trump: I HAVE LOST MY ENTIRE GODDAMN MIND AND NOBODY HAS NOTICED, BECAUSE I SURROUND MYSELF WITH FEAR INSTEAD OF LOVE! YOU SAID TWO WORDS, AND IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT THEY WERE, BECAUSE I AM CRAZY NOW! DEREK! YOU ARE FIRED!
Derek: Um, okay. Your stupid show is sucky, so that's fine.
Trump: GROVEL! GROVEL, WHITE TRASH!
Derek: Um, suck it? I'm outta here.
Kinetic: Bye, Derek! We love you! You're not white trash!
Derek: I love you guys! You're not really riff-raff! I just wanted to be on The Amazing Race and ended up on this doubleplusdicksucking show instead. No hard feelings!

Trump: LISTEN UP! THE REST OF YOU, THAT WAS A BIZARRE MOMENT FOR SHIZZLE. I AM TOTALLY INSANE AND GRASPING AT REALITY, AND I AM FEELING GASSY TODAY! ARE YOU SCARED?

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Apprentice

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